So Hearthstoned right now…

It’s here!

A nice little update here since the article written about the nice lazy way to waste your life can be nicely summed up as follows;

Hearthstone is now available on Android Tablets.

Having first came out to the nations of Australia, Canada (who probably said sorry to everyone about it, just like we do), and New Zealand (I can only presume there was a massive demand on the set of the Hobbit), it very quickly spread worldwide to the cries of nerds and people who spend far too much time on the toilet. 

Ladies and Gentleman, the hearthstone throne is now a reality. Oh dear god, the reality of playing in bed too and not even moving much. The horror, the deliciously geeky horror. Of course shiny shiny IPad owners have had this joy for quite some time and this is one of the best things to happen on the Android platform, however you still will wonder what is different to what you see on fully fledged systems. Continue reading

None of the Above

You can see an election is coming, more so with the recent autumn statement that everyone is now blaming each other for all the problems in the world and this is what the pattern of behavior we should expect to see until May where the nation will see what kind of newly deluded manics will be in charge of the expense fund.

Back in 2010, when the question came up last, it was at a time when the world economy was basically in tatters at the hands of various banks / poker players who were bailed out to the tune of billions and none of whom were prosecuted. There was no clear winner at that election as many were clearly divided as who was the best choice was with the bad information presented at the time. However, because various people such as Dave still wanted power, the Pirates of the Coalition began charting a course over the three seas of lies, treachery and deceit occasionally while getting lost up a canal in Birmingham. Continue reading

Hearthstoned

In the continuation of recent trending rubbish posted on this old blog once again (don’t worry, the boredom will set in soon and then it will be at least 6 months before you see anything new) can we tempt you to pull up a chair by the hearth as a wee Scottish announcer says and listen to a tale of misery, woe and some would wonder why? Why indeed?

The 2 is the mental age of the card….

When it comes to the realm of modern gaming, we get used to everything blowing up with a story written on the back of a cigarette packet with voice acting from the bloke who turned up in every video game going. So when this card game turned up out of nowhere over a year ago from the likes of Blizzard Entertainment, it was rather strange. But delve into it and it turns out to be something far more interesting and comical that you would expect. Continue reading

Keeps going and going and going….

Have a good long look at the below image and I mean, not just a matter of seconds look, I mean look at it like Brian Sewell, the world’s poshest art critic would and come up with some elegant witty banter about it;

Now in HD…..

You decided to read on did you? Are you sure you want to do so, considering how amazing that image above is? Go on, best to go back and have another good long hard stare at it. Maybe while having a nice cup of tea too.

Do that for about 2 and half hours.

Congratulations! You have just simulated what watching The Hobbit: An unexpected Journey is like. The colour beige in cinematic form. Such a loaded statement isn’t it? The kind that drives various internet trolls ablaze with the potential insults about your mum and the ways they will now rape and kill you.

But before the digital warriors come forth to defend the movie’s honour as being a masterpiece and I don’t what I’m talking about, let’s sprinkle some context onto the situation. After which, you may then send the death threats and rape messages.

Continue reading

Sequels, Sequels and more Sequels to those sequels: the sequel.

Friends, countrymen, Romans, lend me 10p for a cup of tea.

For with that tea, let me tell you of a world which over the next year, we will actually be experiencing a great deal of deja vu.

Across the various forms of media, we will be watching, listening and playing sequels to works which proved a hit in one form or another. We’ve reached the point of saturation where now we will just have reboots or sequels as being the predominant entertainment with more original takes on themes, ideas and characters taking a back seat.

Now this is not going to go into a rant about that very thing, far from it, in many ways, it is very difficult to generate new original ideas, especially where now everything is now basically a derivative from another idea or premise. Where there is scope to progress and improve ideas which came before, we should wholeheartedly embrace those that follow.

I for one welcome our Marvel / Disney overlords who basically have got the formula right with giving variety to their huge amount of content, and who have published their film list for the next 5 years. They have reached the point where they are now producing great quality repeatedly where the heroes taking center stage have more than enough of their own problems to deal with and it’s something most people have been enjoying.

There’s been another glitch….

However, there has been more than enough entries in the annals of history to show where sequels would have been better off being left to gather dust on the shelves of various cupboards instead of being unleashed on the world. After the first Matrix movie, who gave a damn about the two that followed after the hype died? Who sighed a deep sigh when yet another Assassin’s Creed game was “leaked” to be in development when the recent Unity is still being fixed? Continue reading

Brack Friday Funderul

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, where the days draw in, we prepare to spend time with our loved / hated ones, start decorating our homes with the same decorations used for 10 generations and then camp outside shops at midnight, to then run over to shelves and hit each other with TVs. It’s at this point the guy on the PA system in Asda yells out “Finish him!”

Yes friends, countrymen and Romans, Black Friday has come and gone within these sunny isles, in the biggest campaign of the year, and inevitably comes with it, all the stupidity and madness that we previously witnessed and laughed at on the news when pictures came through from America, where this proud tradition was imported from.

This is a post with a good deal of moaning, so all hands, brace for impact.

Starting over in the UK after it had caught on in the US back in 2003, it was a silent but deadly event (much like after I’ve had a curry) which started to really make an impression thanks to our supreme online overlords such as Amazon but this year, all retailers decided to get in on the act, and suddenly the level of silliness previously laughed at, was now on our front door step. This is not a good thing. Continue reading

Silver Screen Seinfeld

A random invitation popped through to the inbox the other day, tempting me with free beer and soup in return to turning up at a cinema in central London to do one thing; Watch the top 10 episodes of the acclaimed television series, Seinfeld as voted for on Den of Geek.

By all accounts, it was the 25th anniversary or something like that and HMV had another box set to sell to diehard fans who hadn’t bought it the other few times they had released it. Gotta make money somehow, right kids?

The thing is, it was yet another one of those things which had passed me by so long ago that when this was reaching the heights of popular culture, I was attempting not to go into a general rage at school over the fact I couldn’t understand what the hell Manga was all about and getting my ass handed to me by various cool kids.

So basically what better way to see what the fuss is about than to have the fans choose the episodes which best captured what it was all about, and you get free beer and you don’t have to clean up after yourself? Continue reading

Tell some tales….

Witness if you will, a ghost town.

Nah, bugger that, ghost towns are boring and let’s be honest, Scooby Doo and the gang pretty much solved the mystery of every town as well. That old man from the amusement park….b******d.

Witness if you will instead, some writing about a genre which apparently died of death and then came back with a vengeance, and is now among the best titles released.

Telltale Games, a collection of old Lucasarts employees who it appears thankfully escaped being owned by the evil overlords of Disney, have produced some of the best adventure games in recent years, from Sam & Max, to the revival of Monkey Island.

In recent years however, they decided to take the genre further by mixing up the game mechanics with some button mashing, and choices which have an impact on parts of the story being told depending on your choice.

This was first really brought to the forefront with the release of the first series of the Walking Dead, which frankly was utterly amazing, and provided the template for later releases such as The Wolf among us and….well this;

Continue reading

Yoga 2: This time it’s personal

In a world fraught with jelly and terrorists who post on Facebook about their day, one man will do something blah blah blah….OK, the introduction to this is in no way going to be as good as the title.

(Meanwhile back in reality sting) Earlier in the year, I had decided to take the plunge further into what the cool kids do and purchase a tablet, in this case, the Lenovo Yoga 10.

This had prompted writing in one of the few posts that materialised on the web site earlier this year about the device in question, given that there in fact wasn’t much in terms of any real world usage about Lenovo’s quirky thing with the fat arse you used to make it stand up.

The few reviews that were out if you were to read up about it, suffered from a good number of problems, but within the usage from my own poor hands, a good few got fixed with a massive update to the entire operating system which made it a hell of a lot better.

But while the software got a hell of a lot better and the battery life was superb for the price paid, the hardware itself was still limiting in a big way. A lower res screen where despite producing good images for video, you still got see pixelation even when reading porn purchased from Amazon that you could read without anyone judging. A number of applications refused to run at all for one reason or another.

Now, we have a new contender in the ring; The Lenovo Yoga 2 (Explosions and rock music sold separately) and this is a real life review type thing. All professional and sh*t.

Before and after, just like those home makeover shows…

Continue reading

De duh, duh duh de deh, duh duh de duh….

SPOILER WARNING; The following will talk about the events that occur within the HBO series Game of Thrones. If you don’t want to know anything that occurs within it, then go and watch this instead and suddenly pineapples!

Ok then, seeing as you are still here then, we will continue after the pretty picture of a chair which will never be featured in the DFS Summer Sale.

You ask me to pay the iron price… but I will wait for the sales for 50% off…

Continue reading