Happy End of 2013

Pretty much summed up a lot of 2013…it’s chocolate.

It’s December 31st 2013 and finally we have reached the end of what seems to be for an awful lot of people, quite a tasking time of it, where a lot of upset has occurred and times have seemed tougher than before.

It’s actually rather odd that at the end of this year particularly, the need to draw a line under what has occurred has never been more urgently awaited. The fresh start which I’ve openly mocked for a number of years (the whole new year, new start thing which thankfully has been drowned in the river by the angry villagers of life) seems that for once, it’s actually true.

Not everything that occurred in 2013 has been bad, and obviously given a sense of perspective a number of our problems will be trivial in comparison to those suffering in war-torn regions of the world, like Syria, Iraq or Liverpool.

But in the first world which a lot of us inhabit, it has been a long road which at times, can wear you down. So the only thing I can possibly suggest as some medicine for this ailment, is ride out the remainder of the year in style, drinking and vomiting to remember to the good and forget the bad. Oh, and have a sleep in the morning.

Take it easy all, and the Lord of Leisure will return with a review of the year that was chocolate very soon…

They came after our porn and we said nothing….

On the evening where the new Royal pain in the ass is announced to a world who apparently cares (it’s a baby boy in case your Facebook feed hadn’t already exploded with the news), it seems rather odd that today of all days, coinciding with the birth that will keep Sky News waffling about nothing for the next 60 years, that in the news, it’s been announced that from the end of the year, if you’re going to want some entertainment to enjoy yourself with that involves the use of a sock halfway through from the internet, you’re going to have to ask for it. Say what?

Dave Cameron, fresh from saying bugger it to sorting out cigarette packaging, has made it a vital mission, out of nowhere, to ensure that children (or midget drunks) will no longer be destroyed by porn on the internet and that the market for child porn would be drained from the internet. And remarkably, this is one of the worst pieces of news to hit us, but not for the reasons you may think.

You can watch some of the highlights of that speech made from the NSPCC here; http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/video/2013/jul/22/david-cameron-online-child-abuse-video Continue reading

In the meantime….

SpeakNoRussian

Remember…no Russian…

On this fair and dark evening in London town, it seems that there are few creatures are stirring. Mainly as I’ve been using bug spray to kill cockroaches in the kitchen.

Recently I’ve been out and about enjoying various things such as wandering off to various venues to watch various entertainers, watch silly movies featuring dragons (Yes Man of Steel, admit it, that’s why you never showed that in the trailer….) and generally goof around the place.

Eventually some extra writing shall appear on these fair pages, but in the meantime, go ahead and enjoy this lovely article located at Made 2 Game about how occasionally, we’d like games to be a bit shorter to accommodate our limited free time;

http://www.made2game.com/articles/Columns/Far-Cry-3-Blood-Dragon/26663/Work-Work-Work-Eat-Sleep-Play.-Repeat/

Oh and I have a new hat, which was used for the new welcome video for the OohSometimes Youtube channel which still only has two videos on there at the moment. Not entirely sure what to do with the power of the tubes just yet, and indeed how often I would in fact use said devices, if anyone has any suggestions, feel free to comment!

FIBRE!!!!! (A tale about getting a decent internet connection at last)

In this day and age, we have a terrific range of devices for us to check on funny pictures of cats with.

From computers to tablets to phones who can’t make calls any more, it’s never been easier to get online. Except for one bottleneck which is more often than not, nothing short of geographical pot-luck, regardless of your country.

It’s your phone line.

Back in the good old days, you were just thankful when British Telecom or the state-owned phone company of your choice deemed you fit to have a phone line, and that they had only taken three months to turn up at your house to fit something which allowed to ask people if they could hear you now over and over again. But these days, after the fact that competition opened up and people started moving between providers who offered you 1 more shiny thing than the last lot, you now can do more things with said phone line.

The main use for a phone line arguably has moved from making phone calls to connecting to the Internet. Make no bones about it, if it wasn’t for that fact, a lot of people wouldn’t have a phone line any more, considering almost everyone has a mobile phone with which they annoy everyone 24 hours a day instead. Continue reading

It’s been a bad week.

We all picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue….

The last week or so in April, has been nothing short of downright depressing for many individuals around the globe, and not because that smell from the fridge has gotten slightly worse.

From Boston, where two ass-holes decided to experiment with pressure cookers with bits inside and attempted to kill a large number of people during the Boston marathon, an event where participants run 26 miles gaining bleeding nipples, spray themselves in the face with water and pissing in the streets for fun and charity.

That would have been the focus of the day for the people of Boston, had it not been for the ass-holes in question. The whole affair is still ongoing, though the people responsible have been either killed in horrific stand-off situations or being tried in court at the time of writing. It was a stark reminder that like tourists who like having their photos taken next to a bus that looks funny, the terrorising stupid buggers are everywhere and can strike at any time. Continue reading

The Procrastination Proclamation

Make the pain stop…

Recently, it’s been upmost on my mind that you can have all the good intentions in the world of completing those vital tasks which contribute to everyday life such as milking the cat, cleaning your underpants and discovering a new form of penicillin from the leftover contents of that cup of tea from over 4 weeks ago.

But when it comes right down to it, if there is a way of doing something which involves sleep or jammy dodgers, then you’re move there faster than a herd of fat people who was just been told there is a free you can eat buffet.

The predicament I find myself in, and will find myself in for the next three weeks in fact that I have a huge amount of free time during the day all of a sudden. Continue reading

Social Media: The next immune super-bug

Oh no, it’s the economic crisis dressed as a spider! Run away!

In face of the Chief Medical Officer of the Starship UK, having watched Attack of the Giant Killer Ants from 1952 and proclaiming we’re all doomed by super-bugs which cheers us all up no end,  there was a different article written online for the Guardian on March 10, which as we all know is read only by the world’s peace-loving hippies and devout worshipers of anything from the John Lewis catalogue.

Mainly it was about how young people have started drinking far less, but instead have replaced that with the internet as the next thing to be getting drunk with for hours every day.

You can find it written down here for your dining and dancing pleasure. But there was a couple of things worthy of note towards the end…

The internet is revolutionising how we develop social skills; it’s changing how we interact with our immediate surroundings and it’s gradually weaning young people off the social mores of their parents.

However, while we might be drinking less, the shift in our priorities comes with a forfeit. Like alcohol, the internet is a stimulant and its constant stream of information is something that, over time, we’ve all become quietly reliant on. Continue reading

Windows 8: Please swipe to gripe

On this dark and lonely evening, the temptation to let rip at various enterprises going wrong is all too great. Monday came the vow that at last some posts on this epic tome of the digital damned would move away from all hatred inducing bile that would be occurring in the news and instead focus on the other things which matter not.

It’s alive….it’s ALIVE!

Like Sunflowers and err….pictures of cats photo-shopped to have eyes which piece your soul. But ladies and gentlemen, there will be some bile on this post after all.

But alas it’s not aimed at Natwest and the Royal B*llocks-up of Scotland, who had to say sorry to another failure to perform (happens to the best of us…) their banking duties (oh that failure…err..) at which point the villagers rose up and vowed to destroy Frankenstein’s monster aka Stephen Hester (pictured left, terrorising people on a bus) who has to console himself through this hard time with the £700,000 bonus due from three years ago.

No this time, it’s aimed at Microsoft and not for the browser choice thingy no-one aside from the EU cared about.

A long time ago, in a land roughly 3,500 miles away from merry old England, it came to pass that the PC overlords at the Redmond campus saw that the fruity shiny shiny (Or Apple) was in fact doing rather well at selling tablets which had mobile shops to allow people to buy lots of rubbish like never before. The lord master Steve Balmy thought: “Daddy gotta have some of that.” Continue reading

Win a copy of Assassins’ Creed 3 on PC!

UPDATE: No-one entered, so no-one won! I blame those kids who smoke behind the bike sheds…

Well if the title of the post doesn’t give the oh so cryptic message of the post away, then surely the elaborate ruse that is the post content will shed some light on the matter, unless you’re thicker than the village idiot.

This is what you get for forcing us to open casinos across America…

Since the inception of Ubisoft’s free-running, hoodie-wearing, hidden-blade-using-a-lot-to-stab-people long running series, Assassin’s Creed, (the first game of which so far has been the only actual entry of the series to have any remarks on this very digital tome of justice back in 2008, the review of which you can find here), there have been several further iterations of said game, a few with that lovable Italian fellow by the name of of Ezio Audi da Fiat Punto, who shows he is a hit with the ladies as much as he hurts people with various pointy objects. Continue reading

2013: The one after 2012. Now with added sugar!

London last week

Happy New Year all, it’s now 2013.

First of all, let’s give a big round of applause to the Mayans who foretold the end of the world and got it absolutely wrong! Though to be fair, their track record wasn’t fantastic, given they didn’t really see the end coming for themselves.

What? They’re dead, it’s not like they can sue…..can they? (cue spooky music and ultra cheap lightning effects with a couple of fluorescent bulbs as we’re in a recession and can’t afford the good CGI any more.)

So since the Gangnam style post which was at the butt-end of November last year, once again, time has passed at an alarming rate, and here we are in the bossom of March 2013, though given some of the conditions outside, you’d be forgiven for thinking that Noah’s Ark was going to flow past down the A40 at some point. Continue reading