At last it’s Tuesday and do you know what that means?

Erm…..

It’s Tuesday…..

Well that fell flat on its arse. After a brief spell working a lot at work (damn those fools, don’t they realise I’m the lord of Leisure and therefore my sheer presence alone should be enough for a high price salary, Aston Martin DB9 and all the funny tasting coffee I could muster?), I feel it necessary to brighten up your lives with tales of the expected.

You see over the past 48 hours, much has been progressing in the world. People are falling in love, one couple in particular are now engaged and congratulations to Glyn and Kelly, yes I have the Tesco Value Brand toaster on standby ready to be deployed at a moment’s notice, you are getting one and that’s final.

Toasters alongside dinner plate sets and glasses are mandatory gifts you see, and I have always made it clear that I get “dibs” on the one that gives the happy couples the toaster. And take great joy as their happiness turns to fear, just in case anyone else has bought them one….

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