A head emerges from the red tent, shaking in the winds, all around, a blizzard is sweeping across the ice ladden widerness that layed before me.

The artic tundra is no place for men. You come here when you know there is no hope. The air is cold yet stale like cheese that’s been left out of the fridge a wee bit too long, and all the while, not only does the wind chill you to the bones, you feel the cold icy chill of the reaper upon your soul, pulling you down into the abyss.

They have an oinkment for that I hear. Or is that little blue pills instead?

Moving swiftly on from frozen death, I have to confess that it’s been a more non-productive week than in previous weeks as I decieded to leave the work once I got home and behave much in the fashion I used to, surveying all I could see, which was the front room, and out the window while in my jim-jams.

I have also hit a very bad realisation this week after reaching certain levels of naughty, I have become a fully fleged member of the “geek” culture, a group of creatures with fear of sunlight, spots which if burst would produce enough material to make an omelette.

My brief audio email as mentioned yesterday, did not display a man who has legions of undead at his command but instead a small fellow asking strangers to walk into the local newsagent and buy a dirty mag, maybe with some chocolate milk.

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All yesterday, there was turmoil, because things shook around here as a result of an earthquake which has caused people to react with horror, and then proceed to make the same f**king joke all day: Did the earth move for you last night? (Cue the waa waa music)

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a right dirty minded scamp at the best of times but at the very least give us some variety to the same old stories, it was akin to the undead captions of “phew, what a scorcher” and the hundreds of Nazis references when England play Germany.

And actually it goes to show that that was the most urgent matter of the day that things moved about a bit for a few seconds. I had no idea, until the morning, and others all around couldn’t stop talking about it. Are we just that bored as a nation?

Although afterwards we received reports via text that Preston was devastated. The damage estimate was between £10 and £20. Mercy!

A rather strange thing occured during this week. It appears I was featured on another podcast boring people to death about PC gaming after recording a rather long audio email, being pretend techincal etc, and because I am in the mood to show off, like an old man with his medal collection and regaling you all about the time he defeated the Russian army single handed and hoping on one leg, I guess a link to the site is more than sufficent.

However, when I heard it back, it was strange and rather cringeworthy to me, because:

1) I didn’t reliase how long it was.
2) How many pc components did I mention, when going through how thing run, seriously were people going to be interested in system specs? Christ I need some more naughty….

Despite this feeling that oh b*****ks, I ended up giving them a duff message question thingy, Rob (one of the presenters) commented that he could listen to me all day, and Shawn said I am witty?!?! It’s rare that the Lord of Leisure recieves such praise and because I didn’t want to flood Gamers with Jobs with too much more drivel and an academy award speech which thanks everyone including the people who make my underwear, I’m posting here instead, thank you very much fellas. And I got to say boobs on there too, what more can you ask for?

Forever trying to find further ways to faff about I present you all with a look at an upcoming product which may amaze you. Or not.

Now of course, everyone now knows about my guitar woes of late with the PC, and the fact is, that has now gone into the either with some cashback my way to pay for the latest batch of cocaine I need to survive today’s trival lifestyle of going to the pub and getting reponsibly rat-arsed as we are told to in all those drink and drive adverts that we see everywhere.

So when news of this little baby crossed my soggy filth ridden path, I decided to have a good look and don’t ask me how they are going to do this or if it’s just a pipe dream which will never see the light of day, but in any case take a look at the video below for a Guitar Hero type experience…with a real guitar of your own choice hooked to the PC or Mac.

Guitar Rising

In essence if this is correct, this is the first real true 100 attempt at learning a guitar using a computer interactively as part of entertainment, something which Guitar Hero can never attest to and will actually start causing Nigrera Falls amounts of sweat to drip from all those people who have denounced GH because it’s not the same as playing a real guitar. Of course it bloody well isn’t! We’re not that silly, but hey ho, They were still busy coming out and saying this silliness because they had nothing else to do and so why not spoil people’s fantasies? Buggers.

If they show you actual notes in Guitar Rising with full tutorials etc, it could be the way forward, and would look far more respectable than that fisher price plastic thing we all jump around with, with the neighbours calling the police fearing there is a madman on the loose.

Well there is, but that’s besides the point…

I’m lost in the widerness, the wind howls through the trees like a box of cereal, and all the while the fear of being alone for all time fills my veins with frost. In fact it could be summed up with a jolly nice picture like this:

If only there was some funky dance track to accompany this post just like from the show.

Because of my recent change of heart in terms of being absent for great periods of time, I decieded to take some time out of my busy silliness, and work on the blog once more, tweaking it’s various aspects because some of the site has been broke for a fair amount of time.

So as you may have noticed, we have had a fair amount of updating to the site recently in terms of content, some plug-ins have been updated, the RSS feed has been fixed at long last and the one person I know who used it, Mr. Nigel Parsons can once again browse the feed without ever having to come to the site proper, yes I know it was such a pain to actually look at the actual webpage for you.

We also now have a snazzy little favicon for the site which adds nothing really of extra what-so-ever but it’s the little touches.

The importantish work actually has been proceeding at a resonable pace today too so all in all it’s not been a bad outcome for today’s events which for a saturday is quite good!

Right, I’m off to disappear for several more days. Honestly sometimes I feel like I spoil you all.

And now we come to the fight of the week, for the chance of eternal glory and the showing of accolades by many virgins, we have two champions of truth:

In the red corner weighing at 170 pounds, wearing some woman’s thong that he stole the night before, WINDOWS XP! And in another corner, though he hasn’t quite made up his mind which one to choose, weighing in at 77.111Kg because he’s gone metric, WINDOWS VISTA!

Ladies and Gentlemen, LET’S GET READY TO RAMBLE!!

So at long last, dear readers of ooh sometimes, we come to an event which I have been promising for so long now, my toothpaste turned into a fossil fuel while I was writing, gaming, sleeping, doing naughty, you know.

Comparing Windows XP 32-bit to that of both the 32 and 64-bit versions of that lovable rogue which seems to just annoy so much, it may has well come out of the closet of being Hitler’s brother, Windows Vista Home Premium.

Regretfully this whole area of which windows for me type silly has been done to death, the result of which has always been; all the fan boys have been up in arms complaining about the fact that their favourite vacuum cleaner doesn’t work anymore, and that Vista is a serial killer, killing various types until he has a guest spot on Midsummer Murders.

Put simply Vista has been more a PR disaster than a technical one. No-one likes it because it is slower. Hell, XP forever banners may as well have been put up in the streets, and I swear the villagers are getting anxious at night when they hear the cry of the Vista monster, praying on another herd of sheep.

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Episode 1A: The Filler Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Sorry dear readers and indeed listeners but there hasn’t been enough time this month for a full length podcast with music and proper award winning material. I couldn’t leave you all hanging like that though, so as a preview to the next full episode, here’s Episode 1A: The Filler.

We should have the next one ready towards the end of March all being well.

As usual you can subscribe to the show via the feed URL: http://www.oohsometimes.com/podcasts/feed.xml which you place carefully into your program of choice such as the free programs Juice or Doppler.

You also have the choice of searching the iTunes store, searching using either Paul Hughes, or Ooh Sometimes and subscribing using the software.

If you like what you hear or you don’t then please let us know at: podcast@oohsometimes.com and we’ll respond at some point.

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Not often am I a hore for advertising other blogs, in fact there aren’t that many I consider to be worthy of mention simply because we all know that most blogs are written by people who are up their own arse. I am happy to be one of those people, under the delusions that I will gain a fan club of at least three people and a range of clothing with my face displayed for all to see with catchy slogans such as “You can use my face for that kind of cash” and “Warning! Low bridge ahead.”

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Day 4 of my self imposed exile away from the blog, the gaming and basically most people and it basically blows harder than one of those friendly women in Amsterdam.

I find myself lost in the urban tundra, alone, desperate to do naughty, but unable to unleash the beast of Doombah to quell the tax accountant that has taken resident in my ever decreasing sense of child-like wonder (aka the brain). Cobwebs are starting take up space, and all the while I’m starting to think if Father Jack had life down to a tee: DRINK! FECK! ARSE!

OK, well the truth is, at the moment I have nothing interesting to post so I figure I’d write a load of crap to keep myself sane more than anything.

There was something interesting from the Weekend, which I am more than happy to post here, a slightly naughty skype get together with some people for the Gamers with Jobs podcast at 1am Sunday morning. That went slightly wrong due to this modern day wonderful stuff we use every day, so that was rescheduled for the weekend after. Which brings a bit of a quandry to my salty head wound.

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So yes, today is Febuary the 14th, and yet another year of men running around Tescos last night, looking for roses, a card and chocolates, all to make sure that their respective ladies does not visit harm upon their souls. It was amazing, how many men were running around the store, just seeing what was the best.

It’s almost to the point where you just go through the motions of doing the dinner thing, giving all that crap over to the loved one, just so you have an easier life for one evening. Now I should point out, this is the second Valetines’ Day I’ve been with the Russian Assassin, Miss Levkovska, so already you could argue I’m on borrowed time before the inevitable battle on a cargo ship where I meet my end with some terrific special effects and witty dialog.

But I also want to take great pride in stating; I was not one of those men rushing around looking for aformentioned bits of tat to make the Lady of Leisure happy. Instead I was purchasing some jelly, the ready meals of joy which as we all know is the cornerstone of a balanced diet, and some bananas for my bizarre habit of eating breakfast, while trying to drive to work one handed at various (safe-ish) speeds.

I swear that’s the only thing I do while driving one handed.

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