Ok, it’s slightly misleading, it’s not about the Music festival which occurs only when the gods see fit to re-enact what happened to Noah’s Ark. I’m in Reading for the week, training away from the normal life to some degree that we all cry about.

Basically, I will return and write about the week away at the weekend, along with a brand new movie review, you know that little thing about the Wolfman and X mags….or have I got that confused with something else?

Now move along, you’re causing a draft.

Well campers, it’s been a strange week. A lot that was going on was all about work mainly which of course most people will suffer with that particular disease until we can all be like those people from WALL-E, or as we brits know them as: Americans.

But there were things worthy of note which also included waking up late each day to the sun beaming through the blinds like Scotty from Star Trek, and the weather has been lovely of late, but when all you are wanting to do is keep your eyes closed, anything which destroys that luxury will be viewed with the level of contempt only seen when a dog leaves a present on your foot.

There was also a Friday night out in Soho, but we’ll leave that confusing affair to a later paragraph which hopefully will allow me time to think of funny things to cast onto the white space. Otherwise, it’s back to the tried and tested sex jokes. So I’ll stick a picture about Soho, and carry on.

But to return back from the side step of the above writing, recently I haven’t been able to sleep properly. Perhaps it’s the guilty conscience of destroying another village in India, or maybe it’s just the sheer volume of traffic which passes my window at 6:20 in the morning. Read the rest of this entry »

The last couple of days have been rather odd, and not odd in a shouting at the wall because the voices tell you to do so kind of way.

Let me paint the picture of what happened both days; I woke up in the morning, checked the old crackberry for mails from people wanting to know why everything wasn’t done yesterday, and proceeded to eat the honey oat goodness that is breakfast while tutting away at how bad the world was before going out to work.

It was a sunny day for walking, absolutely the ideal weather for walking around London town, and I had wandered down to Waterloo for where I currently reside and proceeded to work away on various naughty things like the crossword and making too many cups of tea.

But there was something amiss, for all the while there was a slow anger building up and I was just feeling overly annoyed to the point I was muttering under my breath all the way back home. I had watched some bad telly, and then went to bed with some sticky things in my ears to block all naughty from the outside world (in case you’re wondering it’s noisy where I live, and not due to gunshots)

Now, come to today, the exact same things were happening, but this time, all happy and smiley without the thoughts of destruction and doom which plagued me most of the day before. It was the most confusing contrast I’ve ever had happen to me, one day; Mike Douglas, Falling Down, about to lose it, and today, Barney the dinosaur, even to the point of enjoying ice cream by the river.

How the hell can this possibly happen? I cannot explain it at all. Surely same things happening, the feelings would remain the same? Dude, I’m messed up.

And with a welcome return for the first time in many many many months of nothing about the film world filling this site, we now return to our regular bile filled hatred of all those who dare to try to be more famous than James Earl Jones.

Let the Right One In

A rather odd choice given all the other films which have graced the screen since the last written cinematic onslaught. I had asked what it was, I was told it was a Swedish Vampire Horror film.

Now just read that line back to yourself.

Swedish Vampire Horror….from the same country that brought us cheap furniture that collapses owing to missing screws and former England football coach Sven Goran Erikson, who is also missing a few screws, we now get this cinematic piece which won an award or something in Scotland, though being honest, KFC wins awards in Scotland for being luxury food.

And it was showing in an arty cinema too.

Right there and then it should have been enough to put me off, as being honest you’ve all seen me and heard me talk, you know that putting me in a situation that requires a beret, gin in one hand while talking in poems about dishwashers and how this film made all human life into butterflys and….I don’t know, I lapse into a coma when confronted with the horror of people talking about sh*t no-one understands or even cares about.

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And the longest ever running review of any year comes to a very undramatic close, and I suppose it’s on account of next to nothing been written on these old pages like the month beforehand, but don’t think that nothing was happening. In fact this was the month my first ever commercial writing gig took off for Computer Weekly, which was about deploying Office 2007 with a logon script and various other helpful tools such as the Office Customisation tool.

You can still read it all here: Deployment Diary and of course as I maintained on the last entry, if there are any questions about the process, please send us an email, or leave comments all over the place. But please don’t ask me about ladies’ naughty bits, I got in trouble enough the last time!

But what had happened before was that I came down with the actual flu and it got so bad, that I did stay home for the one day, though I was classed as “Working from Home” as far as everyone else was concerned and thus despite sneezing and sweating over various devices, I was answering questions like no-one’s business. Hmm, going against the Lord of Leisure’s duties is a violation of something I’m sure.

Something which I wrote about at the time which has reared it’s head in terms of content was that I don’t keep in touch with anyone any more. And as it goes now here in April 2009 at least it’s not fully right.

When I was back in sunny Shropshire, I spent all sorts of time on the phone to various warlords arranging the next civil war in Africa, or simply asking if anyone was bored and wanted to go somewhere and cause another traffic accident.

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With the ftp back up and working at long last and finally having plucked up enough energy to lift the leisurely head from it’s slumber, it’s just about time we remarked on the full on trip that was Spain, which included to some working, some walking and the KKK.

Yes, you read that right. I wrote the KKK. Those naughty people who scare others by dressing up as ghosts…err…That’s about as much as I know about them to tell the truth, but before we get old Shaggy from Scooby Doo shouting Zonks and legging it down the corridor with the repeating background, allow me to explain why they were all about at this time while I was over there.

You see, it was all to do with the Spanish customs of Easter, in which they have jolly old buddy Christ looking upset being carried around along with other things in streets up and down the land, and accompanying them are the KKK. Why I haven’t fully grasped this, but I’ll be damned if I was not meant to say anything as they walked past as I used my manly powers to destroy an ice cream cone. It’s a great honour to be one of them as it goes from what the locals told me. They even have action figures….look here if you don’t believe me!

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Instead of writing about the delights of Spain, and furnishing you all with limited numbers of pictures from the time, it appears that the FTP server where I can upload said images is down so with that in mind and in keeping with wanting to get back into the swing of things, here’s the review of November 2008.

I ate, slept, worked and everything was status quo.

Thus ends the post remarking on November 2008. Thanks for coming, leave tips at the door.

errr….

What do you mean I can’t just write that? Ok then, here goes…

I went to a gaming expo in the East End of London, playing a lot of new shiny games before they were released to the general public, met up with some friends from the Gamers With Jobs website, and also talked a load of rubbish with one of Eurogamer’s Journalists about breaking into a bank.

No wait, I meant the industry. I had pictures from that event which I never uploaded to the blog which are now making their debut for the first time here in this post and remarked about some of the great games on show at the time such as Fallout 3, the PC version of Braid, which has only just made it to PC recently, and the greatest button mashing contest of all time: Street Fighter 4, which even now, I’m still waiting to show up on the PC like those b*****ds at Capcom promised. COME ON, GET ON WITH IT!

Read the rest of this entry »

First off, on behalf of Buddy Christ, Happy Easter. May your eggs be of chocolate goodness as opposed to the farty bitterness most eggs leave you with.

Now to continue the epic tales told on this digital tome, a few days have passed since the post that signified the return of the Lord of Leisure to British shores and after a pretty hard day at work, where many things occurred including voice over reading for radio ads concerning GoToMyPC which didn’t have a happy ending but you never know, something else may turn up. Mind you, if people did start hearing my voice again, I suspect people would claw their heads, asking for the pain to stop.

Forgive the lack of updates in the past few days, but it appears that since Thursday, after said busy day at work, which also involved an office move and a very very entertaining night out on the town with a few people from work and meeting some interesting folk who were interesting dancers who seemed to fight a losing battle with Gravity, I have been filled with the sense of “Meh”, that mostly costly time disease where you really do not feel like doing anything at all.

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As you may have guessed from the twittering, I did return last night on the easy flight o fun to London, just not at a pleasent time of the day to be exact: 3am. It’s what you pay for I guess, and once again My fear of flying came bounding along like a newborn puppy, ready to feed on the milk of thoughts which occured in my mind any time there was slight turbulance. Oh come on, you’re stuck in a flying baked bean tin for hours, and you’re the only non-terrorist not trying to light his boots on fire.

It’s been a fun week despite not being fully filled with lying around on my arse, but there were some really bizzare things I did see and over the weekend I will be sharing them with you and possibly opening myself up to yet more lawsuits and restraining orders by stating outragous things about, Oh I don’t know…women and them not knowing their place or something. You know the type of stuff to set certain types off these days, it’s always good fun!

In the meantime It appears that lack of sleep from the night before has caught up with me and my inclunation of writing has died along with my sense of smell, the pizza left in the fridge while I was away and also any way of ending sentences properly….err….

As you will have read from the twitter feed (granted, what little has been twittered) I am in the sunnier climbs of Spain for a short time and Normal service hopefully will resume come this wednesday, where I shall reveal a mere starters serving of the sights of the past week and explain about Jesus cake. The picture makes you wonder to as it goes, but all shall be revealed then.

It´s seemingly the best time to be away from Britain, what with the G20 causing naughty in London, people are hugely depressed and the holes we find ourselves in get ever deeper. And that´s only after betting everything on the Grand National later on today.

In the meantime, ponder what must be pondered, eat what must be eaten, and actually, can someone help my poor burning arms? Oww doesn´t even come close to describing them right now. Guess this is what I get for not being used to the sun after all this time.

So for now, we sign off and go in search of various creams. One of them happens to be made of ice.