Horno Chips. The new viagra for fat people.

I’m not here right now, please leave a message after the beep.

BEEP.

Ok, this is not really a recording, it’s just another post written before I got on a plane stating I’m not about. This may not appear to be anything new, after all I seem to have that ability narrowed down to a fine art.

It’s just I won’t be able to answer emails or add comments of no value to Facebook or Twitter, as I will be away from these technical handcuffs to spend time away from it all, recharge the batteries, shout out to the natives asking for chips and letting the belly hang out wherever possible.

Business as usual will resume when I’m able to earn lots of money without working for a living. Damn, that will never happen.

While August and September drifted through my existence without so much of a peep about how much people are resorting to tactics last seen in the Planet of the Apes movies in terms of succeeding in moving up the corporate ladder, there was of course the opportunity to laugh at various cinematic masterpieces, even when it’s inappropriate.

Here are three examples of such movies witnessed during the time of, well, August and September. Sorry, it appears the mastery of the English language has once again escaped me, which doesn’t bode well for the following;

Incontinent Barristers

Given the fact that the cinematic world got a hard-on when Pulp Fiction set in World War 2 (not II, it wasn’t pronounced WW eye-eye), it’s not hard to see why we all didn’t want to watch this.

The facts that Bradley The Pitt has actually acted very well in some films in recent memory, thus raising him up beyond masturbation material for women and gay men alike and this film was coming from Quincy Tarantella, the man behind some quite remarkable films, in which Mich…sorry Samuel Jackson played the same guy over and over and yet it was still cool.

Enter this lovely film about a group of jolly upset people, all wanting to have a good talking to a certain Hitler fella with the dodgy little tash on his head, to see if he would be convinced to stop the war and also have a long sleep from which he wouldn’t wake up from.

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Given the fact that during September I dropped off the face of the earth from a blogging point of view, there were some nice events that occurred, one of which was the trip to Madrid once more to save the day as it were, and the fact that a picture can speak a thousand words, allow me to display lots of pictures in order to re-dress the balance and save me from having to explain anything in great detail.

Let’s start with the required picture of a city street for no other reason than it allows me to wander onto a subject we all enjoy: Prostitution.

For those who are unfamiliar with the concept, it’s basically people enjoying other people for some payment of both money and perhaps a modicum of self-esteem, though perhaps that last part may not be a problem.

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…..I’m not here……this is all in your mind……on no account did I actually write anything on this blog to give the impression that I was still about…..remember, the last thing I actually wrote on here was some nonsense about taking pictures….on no account has anything else in the world happened at all…….(words mimicking ghost noises but failing to do so as it’s a bit crap to expect words to convey whoooooo or whatever)………