It appears the election has stirred something within myself as tonight has been the most tweets as it were for anything. It’s almost as if I’m working, reporting on the “Jolly Election” as old David Dimbleby, the lord of Britain just put it.

Tomorrow, let’s see if we get what we need, not what we think will work as that hasn’t worked before.

Or am I just dreaming again and in reality, nothing will ever change in the wonderful bubble of the political world?

And now, an update from the end of June 2010: Perhaps now some time has passed, it’s best to comment on what had occurred that fateful night as far as the television went.

The BBC decided to stage the election in it’s “election studio”, something which was mentioned about once every 3 seconds, and was a cross between “Mission Control” and one of those evil lairs where the new Bond villain might be hiding in. All the usual suspects were on board to talk pointlessly to people for the first few hours about what might happen etc, then they just sit back and relax as people count all the pretty pieces of paper.

Oh and we had to have the celebrity knees-up every few minutes to see what people off the telly thought. Well certainly the impression I got was; cheers for the beers Mr. BBC!

But that was boring to the point of being in danger of contracting the disease from 28 Days later, so off we went to Sky News, with Adam Bloated, before he went nuts, almost everything you were seeing was being interrupted by a whoosing sound. If someone stood up, there was a whoosh, if someone had a chart to show, there was a whoosh. I swear there was a whoosh when someone farted….

And so to the main event of the evening, almost overshadowing the event of those funny people who pretend they know what they are doing, the Channel 4 Election Night, which in paper promised to be an excellent of crying over the nightmare which would follow, but alas, what we ended up with something, that was borderline a war crime.

One of the main reasons to watch was good old Charlie Brooker, a man who in the past has looked at countless hours of television news and mocked it beyond compare. It seems he was on the naughty step most of the time, as he had to stand at the back of the class, while Jimmy Carr labored through jokes so badly written, he’d been better off dangling his keys instead to get a better response.

At this point, my tweeting as it’s known in the fashoinable circles was at a all time high for one evening, being clever with lines like “Labour wins a seat. They get to take it home afterwards.” and “Oh no! People turned up to vote. What will happen next? (money is on a man running through the room on fire.)” in response to the fact that lots of people tried to vote then couldn’t.

I suppose when you have to start making your own entertainment up on an important evening, when all other avenues fail, you know you’re on a loser.

In the days that came afterwards, we still had Flash Gordan in Number 10, probably stealing the walnut cabinet holding the expensive scotch, while people argues about the fact that no-one was good enough to win outright. I thought it was one of the best results really, as no-one had really showed they knew what to do about the naughty that had happened beforehand.

After intense sexual pressure, We got a “buy one get one free” collation…collection….coal…..bunch of different people to run our fair country and it’s been a few weeks since they all took offices (and other things) and all we know so far is, they are just as corrupt as before (oh yes, already had a great scandal with that fellow fiddling his expenses to not tell people he’s gay, bless him) and stuff is going to be more expensive and puppies are to be drowned en mass as they don’t contribute to our GDP.

A victory for us all indeed.

It’s been a trying week for many people out there, with the dirty politicians in Broken Britain trying to smooth over the gaping hole that is their credibility, more jobs on the way to the scrapheap of cost-cutting, North Korea and Iran showing us all how humans clearly should behave, and now more than ever it’s literally every day we are seeing how cruel life can be, it’s become important now that any event gleans a funny side from it, no matter what it is.

And that’s before we even start on the jokes about Michael Jackson, and to carry on the general theme of this, here’s a hugely inappropriate picture designed to annoy people to write hate mail in to Ooh Sometimes:

What? No-one writes to me any more except to tell how to get women into bed….Wait, that’s a good thing, but anyway back to the post.

For the past few days, a great sorrow and bizarre joy has swept people who would rather not worry about anything else, with heavily cut and pasted tribute footage rushed onto the networks and the family questioning everything about the 50-year old’s demise. There have been people dancing in the streets, people were upset…at spending money and not getting it back for his O2 concerts…err…

The radio stations all started blasting out every single song he ever did, and all shops were compelled to my increasing misery down Oxford Circus to the point, I wanted someone to make my ears bleed, just so the red liquid flowing out would block out any more of it.

Glastonbury of course has come at the same time, and Jizzy tissue and others have all seen fit to pay tribute in their special ways, Lily Allen’s way was wearing a glove, 50 cent released tracks made of up of nicked bits of other music, vendors instantly cashed in with T-Shirts saying people were at Glastonbury when he snuffed it….the list goes on and on, and well…..enough.

I’m going to be slightly serious here, maybe to the depth of the Joker from the last Batman film and beyond so here goes: You don’t f**king care as it hasn’t directly impacted on your life so stop pretending. Ok, except for those people who paid too much for his tickets, but then again they are all getting money back so mute point.

Now I’m saying that and I can imagine there will be one person reading this who will say how dare you, he was everything to me, tell me where you live so I can kill you now. But allow me my last breath to spout this out….

Yes, He made good music, that cannot be denied by anyone, but the sad fact is, people were watching him for the circus he turned himself into and as for his death, I’m amazed it didn’t happen sooner. With all the surgery and the way he was acting at times, you wonder if he wasn’t going to burn down Neverland because he became curious about fire, and no-one then could blame it on the boogie….yes, I went there.

So a man who made some of the best music the world had ever heard, but then went loopy due to things in his personal life, and leading to well….something the telegraph has felt uneasy about: Telegraph article

The man writing the post felt that this is the way people deal with un-nerving events, make everything a joke and it all feels better. Just Dominic Cavendish who wrote the piece feels ill now.

Well fella, as sad as it could be to see if this is the current human condition, to have very little moral sense, you do have to pull back a wee bit. How people deal with things is in their own way and what anyone says or does as a result is all up to them.

But then again, Michael Jackson was not helping himself for some of them. Read these and I challenge you not to smile even just a bit.

Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.

Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.

See, these wouldn’t exist unless he had done something to start it all off. And with the media circus that came round, there wasn’t anyone who didn’t want to pay tribute, only perhaps to get the chance to cover MJ’s songs at a later date, and quelle surprise, Sony are releasing the songs to make more money.

Jokes are one thing mate, profiteering from death is quite another and perhaps that could have made a better premise for your piece, if you wanted to examine the “morality” of humans.

So there we have it, the end of a man that will be remembered for some music and fiddling with kids that was never proven in court, with jokes remaining for years afterwards. What an utterly bizzare legacy to leave behind….

As you all know the only thing I do is read everything I write on OohSometimes.com because why on earth would you want to read anything else?

It seemed like a good thing to do to go back a year as basically I am leading up the new year article to see what resolutions I had made and failed, make up new things and round it all off with a review of the year. It was a nice trip back to the past when I wrote a hell of a lot more, and was basically a lot more funny than the bitter husk of a human being I’ve become. Then I came across a post which made the spider senses tingle.

Only wish I had some effects for everything to go wibbly-wobbly

Excerpt from “And We’re Back!!“

Either that or go mad for the sales which upon arriving back in the UK, seemed to be the top story that everyone was queuing outside the shops to get products which the shops couldn’t sell at rip-off prices before so they are selling to the gullible numpties convince they are getting a good deal when they are still being fleeced within an inch of their lives. They gave one example on the radio where a woman had bought a handbag for £200, convinced she had a bargain because it was down from £650.

And hadn’t everyone already spent enough to begin with before all this today? What about the credit crisis that the whole world in a grip of terror not more than one week ago? What’s happened to the cost of living going up, thus our stagnant wages affording less for us all?

And now we have greater money problems at the very height of things going wrong with various companies out of on their arse to sell the Big Issue to various banks and sleep rough. Can’t help but wish for better things to post about. Maybe writing about my elbows will lighten up people’s days?

So after all the hoopla over the wedding over with now, and the nice fact that the Lord of Leisure has returned from the bout of work coupled with Bangalore belly sickness, let’s remind ourselves of some of the events that have been occurring. After all, there have been many things making people cry, and in a strange sort of way, it’s because some bastard in a suit has become the school bully and stolen their lunch money.

The Credit Crunch

Yes, that lovely topical subject, which has literally given all the bankers in the world brown trousers as they hope mummy doesn’t take their toys away. This week of course, we have seen the politicians getting the cheque book out again to bail out more financial f-ups in a vain attempt to get people to start doing the same thing all over again.

The 700 billion dollar pot which is still being decided at the time of writing, as to whether or not to give out, will effectively give over more control of the fund to the US government in terms of assets etc, while safe guarding, err, something.

Europe of course, not to be out done by those pesky yankies, are also trying to conjure up money from thin air. It’s not working because naturally everyone in Europe hates each other, but bless them for trying all the same.

The main problem is: I think it’s not going to solve anything now and what is comes down to is that there is no longer any confidence in the so-called experts who created this mess in the first place, and therefore people are not going to want to place their money in their hands again anytime soon.

People won’t invest, preferring to keep what they have, more money will be insured by the governing bodies of the world, and all the while everything will remain stagnant. Prices will remain high, people do less, and well I guess we will all continue to blame everyone for all of it.

In the meantime, I’ll be at home, playing with myself in various illegal ways as there is nothing I can actually do about any of this, so as long I get to stuff my face full of dirty meat and cider, as far as the Lord of Leisure would be concerned, it’s all good! Only if our way of life is truly threatened, will we rise up. Right now, it isn’t.

Peter Mandelson

Yes, that rat-faced lying t**t is back in office, after our beloved prime minister couldn’t take it anymore and said “I bent over the desk, now take me you manly brute.” Unfortunately I can only think of the undead in this case, simply put, they refuse to stay down, even when they have been killed off more than once for naughty behaviour, just like good old Peter here.

Mind you, this has been more showing up of the whole political system as a whole, forget what you actually did wrong before and how many costly mistakes you make, know the right people and you can do anything you want. The electorate really don’t matter any more except for election time, and who knows when that will be at this rate?

It is hardly surprising nowadays that people have so little faith in what a lot of people are doing who are in power, much in the same vain as above about the whole credit crunch thing.

Don’t you just love politics when it’s shown up for the overpaid boy’s club it actually is?

The Hadron Colander

Remember that great big experiment to find the god thing, where the main scientist thought that if anyone thought the machine would destroy the world, that they were a t**t? Remember the huge rant I had about the entire project, and had the feeling that the experts had no idea what they were doing?

Well, for now, we’ve had a reprieve from the possible abyss of the black hole, thanks to human engineering failing once again!

Yep, the big round thing broke down, and despite calling out the AA to get towed to the nearest garage, the problem seems to be more profound than they thought, and after all the maintenance etc, it won’t be back on until April next year, by which time, they will all be bored, and start wondering why men’s testicles look like the creature from the blue lagoon.

My right foot

And finally, to round off this epic news report, it appears my right foot has gone a bit bad, in terms it dries up and cracks. Anyone got any suggestions on how to fix it? I’ve been rubbing it vigorously but that just gives me dodgy looks on the London Underground.

Lehman Brothers.

Ah, Already you will know where tonight’s blog post is going, you already have a sense of fear and trepidation. Sweat may be going down your face, as you start wondering what’s going to happen next.

Or, you could be laughing yourself silly.

When I read the news this morning about the fact that Lehman Brothers, the world’s forth or perhaps now former fourth largest investment bank, had filed for Bankruptcy, a sense of Schadenfreude had overwhelmed my senses, leaving a rather wide smile on my face.

Schadenfreude, is a German originating term used to convey the delight humans take when others fall down. We all have this sense, when the rich and powerful become the poor and drunk, or when someone falls over in the street and hurts themselves, somehow we feel better. Where else does a phrase “let’s all point and laugh children” make so much sense?

So when it came time to point and laugh at this latest occurrence of yet another bank gambling with people’s money without thinking, I failed to even feel sorry for the people who have lost their jobs at the hands of some city boys hell bent on chasing their million pound bonus checks, spending other people’s money as though the world would end the next second.

These people, some of them were only going there to make ends meet like the rest of us, now have to trawl around the job market, as shrinking as it appears to be, looking for something else to stave off the nasty people who take TVs away.

The thing is, these people will have no problem in finding another job in London, there are countless adverts every day asking for office staff, perhaps not for all staff but if they want means to live, the means are waiting for them.

But what about those idiots, who enlist far less sympathy from us mere mortals, what about all those f**kwits who caused all this trouble in the first place?

Well the big wigs at the top, they get payoffs as per their badly drafted contracts and therefore will actually be laughing all the way to, well, another bank in any case.

And as for the people who actually help create all the bad debt, with the blessing of the big wigs, they will be either left without a pot to urinate in, don’t know how to cope, fall down in a drunken hole, or perhaps just maybe, they take that trip around the world they’ve all been planning with their £120,000 bonuses.

But the main thing is: They get away scot free with no consequences aside from perhaps unemployment for a short time. Maybe.

And now these useless f**kers it appears somehow have made things worse for everyone.

Let’s start with housing as that’s always a good button to push when you want to make the world blow up. It was amazing how everyone was quick to state that the housing market is now affected by this latest collapse.

Surely house prices are only a concern if you are buying or selling a house? Otherwise it’s a home you live in and as long as you can pay the mortgage, you have no problem. Mind you, why the hell does the US housing market affect anyone else, I mean who would actually spend UK citizens’ money on foreign markets just to make a quick few pence?

They should make far more than enough from the interest on people’s mortgages alone, considering people pay about 5 to 6 times back the amount of the original loan was. Get a calculator out and work it all out with the interest over 25 years for a standard term and your mouth will hit the floor quicker than a chronically depressed lemming goes to leap off a cliff.

But hold on here, it’s not as simple as making lots of money without much effort, there are other factors to throw into the caldron of the damned.

Everything has been going up in price from utility bills to haircuts, things were so overinflated in price for no real reason whatsoever (trust me, I’d love to ask the real reason why prices just get pushed up without any real reason other than these so-called market traders being worried that someone having a poo next to an oil refinery means doom) that this was going to be a common occurrence sooner or later; you would be forgiven for having a complete lack of surprise over all this.

The amounts being quoted in the news with all this mess is well, ok, when did everything become billions here and there, spent like petty cash? This kind of money is obscene, plain and simple. (if someone starts a speech about the money being spent on premiership football, that’s it we’re finished.)

As I type this column, experts have been called in to blame everyone they can think of, the banks, the governments for having low interest rates and allowing us to do what we want and just people for doing what the banks wanted, create mounds of debt. Hell, let’s blame the parents and the devil for making us all greedy while we are at it. Throw in Global warming and you can shout “BINGO, we have a winner!”

But they did touch on one nerve, which does make good sense. We are a consumer-based society. We have been told by various bodies of the world, that buying all this stuff is good, and you need this wallpaper, that arm-pit hair remover and once you have it, you will feel very good.

We don’t really produce anything in the UK any more, we import from elsewhere because it’s cheaper and exported work elsewhere.

And now it’s all coming home to roost. Perhaps now they see one of the downfalls of today’s society.
Enough with the blame, what can be done about it? No-one has the answer at the moment, and no-one ever will. People have been making things up as they go for years, so what the hell, let’s keep going. Things will get better again, they always do.

And that’s the reason perhaps why I’m still laughing, enjoying the downfall of so many. It will probably carry on in this silly fashion for many centuries to come from now on and so many things make so little sense now, that hell, let them carry on and we’ll just sit down and have some pie.

It’s worked for this long, why change the way things are now?

We’re all dead, or so would some of the press and scientists would have us all believe when a giant collection of metal donuts begin operating over on the European mainland on Wednesday, the day where hopefully other things will be happening which are less dangerous like farting in a lift, and people bungee jumping without a bungee rope.

Forget the terrorists, Americans, tubs of lard and clowns destroying us all and wiping us all from existence, it’s now nuclear physicists now who are the enemy. Soon they will switch on the Large Hadron Collider, which basically will send tiny bits of matter smashing against each other and then they see what happens.

It has cost billions of Euros, taken since 1994 to get to this point and the whole thing has been about seeing what happened just after the big bang with extra parts for anti-matter and dark matter thrown in for good measure.

One problem with this grand enterprise is that there are concerns that the machine will create forces which could destroy the earth and possibly the entire universe when it gets going.

Read that sentence again and just allow a few moments for it to sink in.

Destroy the entire universe.

As in the universe where Earth currently is.

If Earth or the universe is destroyed, that means we’re all gone too.

S**T.

Now also read this excerpt from the Telegraph, written by Roger Highfield, their resident science editor:

Such is the angst that the American Nobel prize winning physicist Frank Wilczek of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology has even had death threats, said Prof Brian Cox of Manchester University, adding: “Anyone who thinks the LHC will destroy the world is a t—.”

Who is Professor Brian Cox? Let’s have a picture to start:

There we are, the subject himself, posing for one of many pictures on his website. He’s one of the leading scientists working on the Large Hadron Collider, who has several achievements under his belt in the field and also a member of the High Energy Physics group at the University of Manchester. He’s presented many programmes and was a consultant on the film “Sunshine.”

However, allow me to respond to his comment, that anyone who thinks that this colossal machine will destroy the world is a t**t.

You’re a cheeky smarmy cu*t, and it appears your surname is well chosen.

Now, Paul, you magnificent creation, I hear you cry, you can’t just say that without some actual reason, can you?

Well, I suppose I can as this is my corner of the massive internet, but in reality the true reasons behind such a retort is simple.

People hear things about how this could destroy us, and frankly these concerns deserve merit to be heard, rather than dismissed out of hand. After all, this entire experiment is dealing with the unknown and no-one knows for certain what is going to happen.

CERN have been on the offensive over this, showing them as the best in everything, with numerous conferences, special sections on the BBC website, to the point where it appears anyone who would have issues with the whole project should be shot.

Some of the material has been hosted by the very Professor mentioned above, calling people tw*ts.

Just watch “The Big Bang Machine” on BBC 4 for instance, and perhaps you too will find that the wonderful part, the black hold bit which people are concerned about was mentioned for about 30 seconds, with the rest of the programme showing Mr Cox wandering around, giving grand voiceovers to colourful art smudges with sound fx, smiling a lot, being a happy camper while asking people about how excited they are.

Perhaps as a game, see how many times the people all say the words; Think, stuff and If.

The issues with the explanations stating why we are safe come from a report, also published by the people who are putting all this together, CERN so what bias is there we don’t know.

It relies on pure theoretical ideas, insisting that Black Holes if created within the machine would dissipate due to “Hawking Radiation”, a concept which as it stands, is still unproven by any current means. This suggests the following:

“F**ks knows, let’s just turn the bugger on and see what happens.”

That perhaps what gets people ruffled the most, and there also the possibility, which isn’t a hard stretch to reach, that Professor Cox likes being in the limelight, as during the programme he came across as being very happy that the cameras were focused on him, as he acted like a simple gimp, and not someone you would trust with your toenail clippings, let alone something of this magnitude.

How else can you explain that fact, he was giddy and extremely positive about the machine, perhaps even accepting he is proud of his work? Do they need to justify the huge expense? There is that, considering that in these times, there are more important things to sort out first rather than go on a jolly to smash tiny things together.

Should they also save face? These people are now the top in their field and if nothing comes of this, I dare say they will fear that they will lose their jobs. After all, what would they have to show for all this effort?

Perhaps this is an attempt to even to go as far as being bored and needing something to do; after all, He even stated during the programme, that Physics is stuck and the only thing left is to recreate the conditions of the Big Bang a fraction of a second after the beginning of creation. Hi ho, it’s off to work we go indeed.

And the benefits to people right now are hard to grasp. Let’s be fair, the LHC has a limited number of household applications at the moment, you can’t wash your car with it, you can’t use it to keep an eye on your kids, and also it doesn’t dump those bodies you’ve been meaning to get rid of at the river…err where was I going with that?

Looking back it’s plain to see that during the bulk of this content, there were a few personal attacks on Professor Cox.

The only reason why this ever started was for the simple fact that he dismissed people’s fears without even coming close to an actual answer as what would happen inside the machine and to add insults to that is entirely uncalled for. Therefore look upon this as a retort on behalf of those people unconvinced you know what you are doing.

That also means, yes, I’m a tw*t too.

I’m more than happy to meet up with you, Mr Cox if you wish to refute this and explain yourself, but if push comes to shove, if you do maintain that arrogant behaviour without any explanation, I’ll also shove some large metal particles up your arse and turn on another miracle of science, electricity.

An attitude like this opens the gates to shouting’s of “Luddites” and how throughout history people have often rebelled over what they don’t understand.

I’m open to grander things, that answers about existence will be revealed, that perhaps this will lead to a great discovery which will change the course of history, the way we think about existence and then quite rightly then, the people behind all this should all be congratulated and perhaps celebrated.

But right now, there are too many unanswered questions about an experiment dealing with the unknown. And when playing with things such as this, which even with the remote or “strange theory” that black holes could be created that could end all life, that still means there is the possibility.

The public need to be assured you know what you are doing, and judging from the content seen so far, It appears we’re f*cked, though not till October when they actually start the experiment properly, Wednesday in fact they just start it spinning stuff around for the cameras. If we’re still here, then there should be cake! Then the human race can carry on like before, doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel.

Wish I had some of the money spent on the bloody thing though.

Here is the big announcement which I’ve been leading up to all day, and have been thinking of the best way to break the news which practically everyone knows already, however our international readership may be interested as it involves London, and as we all know, London is the only place in Britain. Nowhere else exists.

There was some deciding over whether the BBC should break the story, interrupting tonight’s episode Doctor Who and therefore we have to wait to find out about the Doctor’s Daughter. Perhaps distributing flyers on people’s windscreens. Or at the Wedding mass in Westminster today, as a “and finally notice”, the 700 married couples would be told there, thus making the day even happier.

But I don’t have any money. So a crap fudging of the Ooh Sometimes header logo and a blog post here will have to do.

I’m moving to London.
(Just in case you failed to notice the banner above)

Yes, that’s the news that has been kept secret until recently and which had been taking up a lot of time in sorting out, when after a long stint in Telford, I guess the time has come to push the envelope further and try something new.

It wasn’t an easy decision by any stretch of the imagination, I will miss the people still there and considering where I am going to, there are some people thinking: What the bloody hell are you doing?

London’s full of chavs, gangs, guns, idiots, various religious arseholes who want to blow things up, people work night and day just to get by and lastly there’s Boris Johnson, the man who everyone is hoping fails at his task being Mayor. What could possibly compel you to go there?

Well, in truth, London, despite the fact that it’s ridiculously expensive to get decent sized accommodation and even live, it’s easy to get lost and killed in, and you can feel so alone in a place like that, London is the major place, in front of Birmingham, Manchester, Glasgow and Edinburgh, where the most opportunities exist to do anything you want. It’s going to be one of those experiences we all have to do at some time in our lives.

By day, you can do your normal work, and by night, you could take a course at one of the many institutions available who specialise in various areas not found elsewhere, or get caught up doing something you would never think about doing in a million years. (Note, previous statement doesn’t include running from the fuzz for drug trafficking.) Or if you are me, actually get time to do the bloody podcast! Though, at least it’s now clear as to why it’s being delayed.

London also has the most to do in terms of night and indeed day-life. So many places to visit, and so many free things too. It would be nice to actually see some of the people I hear and see in the flesh more often, and well, a lot of them are down London, let’s see who we can annoy and scare with badly crayoned pictures showing how much I love them!

There are people down and back up here who have already said they would help if asked, and I wish to state on the record I am very grateful for their help in whatever shape or form it took. In fact, some people down there in London, are a hoot to talk to and there are just so many people, there has to be some good eggs there among the b******ds who want to bugger things up for the rest.

Of course, it may go horribly wrong. I may be rubbish at the job and they throw me out. I may end up in a bad situation from which naughty all flows forth. That’s the risk we have everywhere these days. But that’s no reason not to try.

So for how ever long it lasts, let’s rock!

My good friend Wonko, political activist and thorn in the side of certain people in the Midlands after he registered a company using a proposed name for the Birmingham, Coventry and Black Country City Region, thus forcing them to change the name, has thrown up a poll for T**t Of The Year 2007, various public figures are up for the “honour” owing to their lack of prowess over our daily lives.

Oh, I’m also on the list.

It’s by choice, actually. Sometimes I am the T word to quite a few people in real life that it needs to be recognised. Also, someone has to stand against the likes of Gordon Brown, and truly represent the common man.

Vote for me using the below link, and may the common t**t win!

Wonko’s Poll for T**t Of The Year

*Warning, link contains lots of swearing. Neat.

Updated: 6th April 2008.

I didn’t win the poll, I did however get a few votes so I feel slightly better that some people was able to vent their feelings via an anonymous vote. Gordon Brown took the honours, and had a certificate faxed over by Stuart. Strangely no official response from Downing Street was received.

Broken Britain yesterday was suffering all sorts of naughtiness it appears, we had the imminent threat of flooding all along the east coast, cue Hordes of people in schools and leisure centers. And the most amazing thing was happening on Sky News. They were live at the scene, showing viewers the Thames Barrier being lowered or raised, whatever the hell it was meant to do, and they were expecting something dramatic and they got nothing.

But instead of carrying on with the other news, such as that “conspiracy theory” murder in Italy where that poor student girl was murdered and they are dragging in everyone who knew her, they stayed on that for a further 20 minutes. Just watching a block being moved.

Now forgive me for sounding silly, and that does happen frequently, but that doesn’t sound like a roaring time. I couldn’t imagine for the life of me see people in the pub, shouting at it going “COME ON BARRIER! YOU CAN DO IT MY SON!”, but then again I seldom watch the news anymore, I only caught all this last night during an attempt to pretend that I was in the gym losing weight and looking all the more manly for it.

And by the time I had finished on the cross-trainer and it was still on, I was amazed at this, and I felt compelled to write about it now. Sorry, it’s just whenever I watch the news in recent times, it is overly depressing and the few times I do watch, something on the news always amazes me, the barrier fitted into that category. It was almost like they were stuggling to for things to say.

But dear readers, indeed there were other happenings going on it appears such as the tougher laws on Speeding being introduced, and of course the raking over the coals of the Police bloke about the guy who got shot in London who turned out to be innocent, I am still not sure what the fuss about the fuzz is about, you’ll have to forgive me, I’m not quite with current events, but it appears that they want Sir Ian Blair’s head on a stick because of the one occasion that all the anti-terror laws and pursuits end up in a tragic death.

Such is the times we live in that we have excuses to take our liberties, saying the terrorists won’t win, and won’t change our way of life, despite the fact they have achieved that by all the extra security and well it’s a vicious circle. And it appears we do anything to stop anyone who looks like they are about to do naughty. It will happen again, simply because of human error. The flip-side of the coin is: Would people care if he did turn out to be a terrorist? No, but that’s not the point here.

An innocent man was killed so where this goes, who knows? Will it result in lessor tactics being employed by police? Well no. Once those type of powers are granted, they are never taken back, and the fact is the public will want the police to be tough in the face of naughty terrorist singing “The Hills are alive with the sound of music” and blowing up things. So I do believe nothing will change. It will get buried and we will carry on thinking about jumpers and pop tarts.

That whole debate will never end as long as the terror plots and treason continue albeit in the background. But to show a barrier not moving for a great length of time, well bugger me, maybe that’s not news. Hell, my arse being wiped would have made for more gripping news. Come on news people, concentrate on the bigger issues.

We’ve had a very active day in the news today, haven’t we? The CWU are shouting at Royal Mail saying You are taking away our pensions and changing our working hours without notice. Royal Mail, say they want to restructure and actually get the workers to work the hours they are paid for. Who do you believe?

Both sides are probably giving some truth but I reckon the fact that the union asked it’s members to vote on strike action not whether or not the pay offer was fair, they did reject out-right. This doesn’t help people and businesses think they are in the right. And with Royal Mail stating they want workers to work the hours they are paid for? Something doesn’t sit right here. Somewhere, someone has taken the mick and now we customers are yielding the benefits of this.

More strikes are planned, which frankly raises the question, could Royal Mail sack all the members of the union who participated in the strike and replace them with people who will work with whatever they want?

It’s a doomsday style scenario I grant you, and frankly the time taken to train and get the workforce back to enough strength would see Royal Mail in major trouble, more than they are after this strike. But you can never rule anything out.

Also the Labour party have stolen the Tories tax plans by all accounts judging by all the news reports I have seen this evening, and lots of people are going to suffer with Council Tax rises and small businesses are going to pay more on top of it. You could point to the progressive tax hikes and spending practises by the Labour party after how many years which may be playing into what is happening now.

Things can only go up in pricing without an increase with wages for so long, I’m not talking a 2% rise which gives you an extra £10 a month, and I now begin wondering what is going to happen if a lot of taxpayers really start feeling the pinch.

Again you can point to the borrowing culture that has been built up, and we have been encouraged to borrow by the banks who makes sheds loads and the government who like us borrowing as it helps the economy. How does borrowing money that isn’t there to borrow helping? The country is running on credit. Someone help us if the loans are ever called in.

Here endeth the world view, I got a wee bit annoyed today about these things and thought it was right to comment at least. Normal service about things which don’t matter will resume shortly!