In a rather more strange, romantic and yet still something which will make you throw up if you hate the whole idea of men and women being together twist of fate, instead of eating far too much in Shropshire with the family, talking about each other’s work habits, sitting down the pub for three hours on Christmas Day, and then coming back to eat even more to only collapse in front of the TV watching the Christmas edition of Doctor Who, this year took a different slant.

This year, the festive day would take place somewhere else. Somewhere in Europe. Already things are looking down. But fear not gentle readers, it’s not Brussels, filled with smelly European MPs signing us all up for the not-a-constitution and we were outside protesting by tying ourselves to trees.

It was in fact, the historical capital city of the Czech Republic, Prague. Filled with architecture, culture, and various adventures for stag parties, Prague has been attracting visitors for years and somewhere to go to let yourself go, and marvel at its stately homes, concert halls and film locations.

That’s the travel guide b******ks over with. Time for the reality of Prague and what’s it now like.

The crew for the trip:

Natalie, the lady of leisure travelling with me through time and space (the fiesta’s the closest thing to the Tardis I have, and it’s bigger on the inside than on the outside, by about 3 cm) and unlike doctor who, she’s not going to disappear into an alternate reality only to reappear as a guest star later in Series 4.

Paul, the Lord of Leisure. Some say he can sleep for up to 40 hours in a blizzard. Others say he successfully defeated the Chinese Army with a pot of tea and some toast. And then there is everyone else who will tell you he makes a lot of things up.

The manifest complete, let us begin with some pictures here ready, while other larger pictures can be viewed via various hyperlinks throughout the post. There were quite a number of photos that I wanted to post but there’s not enough room, and there will be a full album posted online soon for you all to enjoy.

But we begin our journey out on Christmas Eve, boarding the airplane at Birmingham to take us to our eventual destination and we got there about 1 in the afternoon, local time. The flight’s only an hour and 50 minutes which is grand as I hate flying now, turbulance is the worst part. We got to trying a few games of poker with Natalie doing the best, she’s a real card shark now, damn her for robbing of those little plastic tiddlewink things. Ah well, after that silliness, we got wrapped up completely for the cold front we would have awaiting us outside in the new land.

Now to reach the center, the buses to and from Devijka are regular (that’s the 119 for those who want to try themselves) and the metro station here is where you change for the underground around the city center. One of the things as you are travelling through the outskirts, is the graffiti sprayed everywhere, and the old soviet style buildings which, if you are a geek, you get the amazing feeling of déjà vu.

At least if you have played the game Half-Life 2. Every so often around the city I had the feeling that a strider was going to come around the corner or a head crab was planning to hump my head. The problem was that the game was set in an eastern European city and you see where they got so many of the design ideas from, it was all around you as you walk the streets.
I need to get out more.

And what a better place to do that than Prague.

The place itself seems to have not changed that much in many years, the buildings seemed to be of years past in different times, with a mixture of old and new. The main part of Prague has been essentially turned into a massive shopping spree, with brand name, after brand name lining all the streets meaning if that’s your fetish, you’ll be very happy. Except for the 24th to the 26th of December because for the Czech Republic, it’s a national holiday.

But amazingly there are still plenty of places to go while some of the locals take a rest from the usual naughty which it seems is the norm wherever you go. Because of the huge number of tourists, a fair number of the restaurants remained open waiting for your money. And they were earning by the bucket load.

One of the illusions that everyone has been hearing, is that everything in Prague is cheap compared to here in the UK. Well either it’s was Christmas or that’s a big pile of the brown stuff. It was very hard to find even a cup of tea or coffee below 90CZK (which comes roughly to £2.40) so other things for meals etc soon add up.

Its success has driven up the prices, the Czechs have wisent up to the pulling power of their city and they are using it. So if you are going there for full on fun, make sure you have more than enough money. This story may be different to other parts of the country but you have to go there yourselves.

The hotel was fantastically clean, and with breakfast included, it was a real bonus not have to wander far for lovely num-nums. It was located somewhere by the national museum which in turn is right next to the big shopping bits where you get all sorts of tat depending on whether or not you can’t really do without that mug that says Prague on it.

All within a few minutes walk which is grand. What more can you ask for? (aside from heated walkways all the way there.) Very good value for money, for christmas time, and we would stay at the place again. The problem is, I can’t remember what the bloody place was called now! Damn my memory of…something.

As for the local cuisine it really does range from the “domestic delights” of McDonalds and KFC which dotted the place all over, and bless them, they were working diligently during Christmas day as well. That heart failure waits for no-one.

But if like, everyone else, you actually wanted to try some of the more traditional food on offer, there are some real nice places to go. There was this nice place on the corner by the national gallery, which offered the best goulash and cutlets you will ever feast on, for far cheaper prices than most of the places we found on our travels, and the amounts you are used to eating in Britain for instance, well forget that. Czech food it appears fills you far better and for far longer, and this is something you never thought you’d read here.

They do wonders with cabbage.

Ok, moving on, one last note, if you are a vegetarian then you will be making a bee line for the closet vomit bag as there is meat everywhere. The little kiosks selling the sausages line parts of Prague and most of the places, unless you go to the bigger places catering for international people, stick to meat on the menu. Mmm….dirty meat!

Now then, the good bits. We spent Christmas day wandering around the main area of the city, the evil Natazuki in full swing absorbing all the sights, well there was one that she didn’t really want to absorb.

The river is one of the nicer places to walk along, and it was walking to the older side of town, that Natalie wandered into an Art Gallery ran by an Ukrainian and a Russian (well a man from Georgia who spoke Russian and well I can’t really say Georgian, what is he, from the 18th Century?), and we were invited in to enjoy some of the art, to have a look, and enjoy some fine vodka. It just turned into a general chat about many things, while having more vodka, and I tell you what, they were extremely friendly and funny.

The Russian had a fair few views on the ladies which seem to mirror what goes on here. So not so different…. We were invited back for a New Year’s Eve bash for drinking far too much and chatting with many people, and another time, we would be back. Their gallery has a net address: http://www.zuzuk.cz so take a look and see what you think. One of the highlights of the trip for sure.

Prague looks really nice at night and it was while wondering around at night, we got tickets for an concert on Christmas day, to sample of the finer music (regretfully not more of the Kaiser Chiefs) in one of the more posh halls and halfway through, they started playing the Hovis Advert music, and all I got running through my head was bakers born and bred. Oo eck is like.

There was also something else which caught my eye, and I had to say something about this. Prague has a museum of Communism (ah the good old days, so many bond villains, so many memories.) and one of the signs had been twisted to point to the McDonalds right next door. Who says people don’t have a sense of humour?

Along with museums with sense of humour, the national museum has some very interesting “exhibits” like a big foot you walk through, a world war tent with places to bomb. Skeletons of monkeys, a sailing ship for no real reason, some medals and rocks. Lots and lots of rocks. If I pulled some poses like Bruce Forsyth, I could have been the main piece. It was worth it just to see the look on Natalie’s face. The MasterCard adverts have the right word.

So after all is said and done, what is Prague during Christmas? Very nice, cold and expensive. The few days spent there in hind sight now was enough time there, and another time of year with other plans may be warranted, but the finances need to recover first. What’s more I had a good time with a sexy lady.

It’s a Nice!

Hello campers, and as you can see on this boxing day eve, we are back from the Czech Republic, filled with stories of the last….day and a half of being there.

Granted it’s not long at all in the grand scheme of things but never the less, much has been learned in that time about Prague, what goes on for Christmas there as far as the tourists go and some other local residents, and some of the real deal with the place which it appears never gets said by anyone who I’ve asked about the damned place.

That will come in a future post complete with silly pictures carefully selected for the biggest laughs in terms of captions. Or not, depending on how we go.

It pleases me the last few days that site visits have dwindled for the festive period, which means that people actually have something better to do for Christmas. But now that stupid thingy’s out the way, you can all come back and enjoy some more mutterings from myself and the rest of the contributors here at the dome of enlightenment.

Either that or go mad for the sales which upon arriving back in the UK, seemed to be the top story that everyone was queuing outside the shops to get products which the shops couldn’t sell at rip-off prices before so they are selling to the gullible numpties convince they are getting a good deal when they are still being fleeced within an inch of their lives. They gave one example on the radio where a woman had bought a handbag for £200, convinced she had a bargain because it was down from £650.

Now….will I be the only one thinking that the shops would have ripping people off left, right and center to take money off like that for a crappy little bag thing? And also that does raise the point of spending £200 on a crappy little bag thing but then again I am not a woman and therefore may not be in the right mindset to buy something because it has some f**k-clump’s name written on it.

Granted I spent stupendous amount of money on the Uber Beast of Personal Computers, but that is serving a purpose both for work, and as the entertainment system here at the stately manor house containing the Lord of Leisure. But £200 for a bag?

And hadn’t everyone already spent enough to begin with before all this today? What about the credit crisis that the whole world in a grip of terror not more than one week ago? What’s happened to the cost of living going up, thus our stagnant wages affording less for us all?

Yes, Christmas recharged my bulls**t levels and there’s more where that came from. Sorry…

I must thank those people who texted me over the past couple of days and I will get around to replying to you all, regretfully I left my phone here in the UK and therefore have been very rude it appears. This was not intentional and shall be sorted at work tommorow, as I think most of the day will be free to do nothing.

I have received an amazing amount of texts this year from unknown numbers I have no idea who the messages are from, but cheers all the same. For now, as it’s getting a bit late I leave you all, hoping all went well on the day and we are all going to need our stomachs pumped because we can’t move for too many mince pies. Top of the morning!

Merry Christmas to everyone today, hope you got what you wanted, and if not, just remember, the receipt for it’s probably hanging around somewhere so just have a quick look when everyone’s dead from eating too much Christmas pud.

Just think, You have the January Sales to look forward to now, and New Year’s Eve getting absolutely wasted, stealing a traffic cone and weeing on someone’s car.

In case people are wondering (mind you I’m expecting no-one to be reading this blog today, hopefully they have something better to do), I actually wrote this post a few days ago, because I didn’t see myself staying on t’internet while missing out on Prague. And this handy doo hicky allows me to write this now, so it will automatically pop up Christmas day! WOO technology!! I swear I tell thee about it when Natalie and I get back soon. But for now as short as it is, enjoy the rest of the day with the family (and maybe your own family too.)

 

 Episode 13: Best of.....Something [53:22m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Because it’s christmas time, and it’s the time to give, we are proud to release this extended edition of the audio noise file, where the best bits are played back from both the audio and written tomes of silly, for your drinking and fornicating pleasures. Well no-one ever really tells me what they truly want for the festive occasion so this will have to do. It’s either that or a book token. And I’d have to lend money from you to get the book token….

As usual you can subscribe to the show via the feed URL: http://www.oohsometimes.com/podcasts/feed.xml which you place carefully into your program of choice such as the free programs Juice or Doppler.

You also have the choice of searching the iTunes store, searching using either Paul Hughes, or Ooh Sometimes and subscribing using the software.

If you like what you hear or you don’t then please let us know at: podcast@oohsometimes.com and we’ll respond at some point.

Music:
Crashing Cairo – Tell
Arthur Yoria – Permanent
Five Star Fall – Five Star Fall
Beight – Fill Me Up
The Knuckle Kids – (Excerpt from song used)

Credits:
Paul Hughes – after playing Guitar Hero too much, is now wondering what is he going to without it while in Prague over Christmas.

Background Music by Kevin MacLeod (Kevin’s Website) and Voice Over Man is none other than the legend that is S.L. Slaughter (Blogun.com). The new title music was by Seismic Anomaly who feature at Magnatune.

This
work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License.

Like the inevitable rise and setting of the sun, the tide of the sea changing and the stupidly absurd rush to the supermarkets to buy everything before it’s all gone simply as they are shut for one day over Christmas; here is another update on what’s new in the life of the Lord of Leisure.

Friday didn’t exist until 1 O’clock this afternoon after a going to bed late, furiously trying to sort out the UberBeast of the machine at home while writing that little synopsis of the Golden Jigsaw puzzle. One venture was successful; the other was not so joyful, and quite annoying.

You will see the results of that in a future post, one which will be strictly for the computer people out in the world but it will contain information for those who are none technical as this will in fact be something you will have to deal with in the future yourselves, and not just when you get a new machine as what most people tend to do these days (providing of course they can afford anything anymore.)
So now some of you will be quaking in your boots awaiting the post of doom, I’ll move onto more seasonal things.

Until next Thursday I shall be away from work, working on other nice things such as packing for the trip away, which shouldn’t take long, and still trying desperately to think of the last few bits for only 3 people now, the rest have been sorted with various bits of tat, normally the things that people receive because you cannot possibly think of anything else they would like, but who gives a brown smudge resembling material passing from people’s bottoms?

It’s the thought that counts.

But I ask the question: what thought counts exactly? There are lots of thoughts which occur on a daily basis but some of them clearly should never fall into the public domain ever, let alone at Christmas time.
On the plus side, the extra money received from working the coal mines in deepest, darkest south America with the rest of the gringos has stabilised the bank balance somewhat, granted it’s only two weeks before the red line is once again breached but better that than being there after getting paid. More comes in the new year, as I will be working extra for two weeks straight, thus aiding the objective of Operation “Oh dear god, we better do something before the nasty bank people start doing naughty.”

Another exciting moment on Guitar Hero has been reached, which is a big surprise for me but then again staying in and doing nothing else but breaking your fingers on the toy fisher price guitar would surely at some point yield a result. I have finished the songs on Easy thus allowing me to get the Grim Reaper Character to play as when attempting to play the songs again on Medium, which is a huge jump from easy. You see, at the time of reviewing the game some time ago, I didn’t know that going from easy to medium was likened to being kicked in the balls.

An extra button is added making it more difficult but also the speed of the notes is increased it seems by 100%, with the notes going all over the place with various combinations all combining to making you wanting to insert the guitar into someone and walk away like David Banner at the end of every episode to the Incredible Hulk. Cue Piano.

Tuesday I never remarked on so here’s the opportunity for me to gorge you all silly on happenings. I went to spend the evening with Steve, Kristi, Matt and Natalie in Shrewsbury while playing Guitar Hero 3 on the Xbox 360 on the uber huge screen with projector that Steve acquired after selling his body on the street to various women in need of comfort.

After strumming so long I wanted a pair of new hands, we settled down for some gloriously round pizza and attempted to play poker. Unfortunately having never played that before, I ended up with the situation that Northern Rock is now in, and was borrowing chips all the time from the bank and going through them like Peter Stringfellow goes through 16 year old girls.

But still we learned a few things, first, Natalie is a hustler and carefully guards the money like a hawk and secondly what is Steve’s is Kristi’s and what is Kristi’s is Kristi’s, so that means I wouldn’t want to guess. Then again this may be what marriage is. Anyone who would like to correct me, please do so.

Poker is one of the oldest pastimes there is alongside spitting from a bridge aiming for someone, and hotwiring cars. It’s an interesting game to chat over, discussing things of the day, more relaxing, you can lie to win and be more sociable over than Guitar Hero, and you can at least talk about Poker in public, although there are lots of jokes about “Poker” and women I could come with but that’s best left to the various Christmas crackers to be opened next week.

And at some point I guess I’ll have to go back to the gym as I have been feeling bloated and run down of late, having caught yet another bout of the manful, with sore throat symptoms which resembles the tonsillitis trouble I had at the beginning of this year. Still ‘tis the season to eat far too much so it’s just a guess of fitting in, though not into any clothes any more.

I could carry on waffling but I have wrapping to do and something else equally none constructive so for now dear campers, I leave with this question:

Are Christmas decorations a health and safety hazard? If so, have you met anyone who killed themselves on tinsel?

Good night.

He was right. It wasn’t that good, but at least I didn’t fall asleep during the events that occurred before my very eyes and afterwards I actually wondered what the rest would be like.

The problem was before the events of last night, I was armed with prior knowledge that my good friend, Mr. Logan from sunny Wales has previous experience with the thing in question and he wasn’t overly thrilled with it himself, you have to be in the “Fantasy” mindset to enjoy.

Before any more confusion sets in, let me you assure you all that the object of the moment was none other than the film, The Golden Compass which is currently at the local cineplexsuperuberwooperscreen building near you, unless you live on a deserted tropical island or some such, in which case I have to ask, how have you got internet access and can actually read this?

Leaving that bizarre mystery to one side, it is most certainly a kids film and I have the mind of a 3 year old, so I’m already in the child-like state and therefore properly equipped to harp on about it like some old retired window cleaner telling the unfortunate nephew about the time he cleaned a window that was big.

The Golden Compass is the first of three films, just like the books by some bloke I’ve never heard of, and is set on a parallel world where people and their souls walk about beside them, having a chat about various things like shopping and the weather, while under the thumb of the evil empire from Star Wars, who has just undergone a PR rebranding exercise and are now called the Magisterium. They only want what’s best for everyone and that seems to be no free will and rule everything in existence.

Sounds fair.

Anyway, James Bond (or Daniel Craig, whichever you prefer) plays Lord Ariel Ultra, a man determined to prove there are other worlds because he captured a picture of a man with dust flowing to him. Dust is a bad thing, because not only will it make certain people sneeze, if the existence of dust is proven once and for all, the stories from the Aquarium will be all lies, and society would change forever.

Enter Liar, the main star of the film who seems has been watching Mary Poppins too many times and taken what Dick Van Dyke says and made it her own. She’s wilful and likes running around, and probably lots of other things like kids do these days, although it must be said, not once she ask anyone to buy fags from the shop. So already a 1000% improvement.

She does save James Bond from being killed right at the start and therefore already has fortune going for her. Turns out that they are related and he wants her safe and not to think about dust, before James heads off to the north to prove he’s right about Dust and the other bits of naughty.

Along afterwards comes the woman who did naughty with Tom Cruise before he went and did naughty with the one from Dawson’s Creek, all slimy and pantomime-ish and takes Liar away to go to the north, only to delay her because Liar is given a golden compass, I haven’t a clue what the name is, so from here on in it’s called a thermometer. The thermometers were all destroyed because they tell the person who looks at it, and then watches the special effects the truth about anything they so choose.

The evil empire from Star Wars, I mean, the Magisterium destroyed them all and want the thing for themselves so it turns out the woman who did naughty with Tom Cruise before he went and did naughty with the one from Dawson’s Creek, works for them and therefore we have someone to hate. Oh Dear.

Along the way, children get kidnapped, some boat people help Liar to go to the north, we meet Sam Elliot and a bear that was getting pissed on Whiskey because he had no armour. Throw in various battle scenes, one really cool scene with the bears with an Indiana Jones style finish, some danger where we almost lose the main star, some more fighting and you’ve pretty much got the first film all wrapped up and delivered just in time for Christmas.

I may have glazed over most of the film but I guess not having read or even heard of the books until now, I may have missed much of the story because it seems you are just pushed from one moment to the next, I’m guessing at which you go “oh I know that bit from the book.” Well perhaps when I do get to reading the trilogy, I’ll get what’s going on slightly better.

It was a good film in terms of effects but what isn’t these days, and rather oddly I wondered why the main character was getting so much attention from so many as well it appears everyone just falls over themselves to join her while she has that thermometer thing. But then again we need a hero, and she actually does fit the bill towards the end so it appears we’ll have more in store for the next two films.

The idea about the souls walking with people, with the kids ones changing shape while they are young is actually rather neat and I think you could actually do a lot with just that on its own. During the battles, you know when someone’s gone to meet the big man, woman or fruit in the sky as the sprit disintegrates, sort of bring home the fact that they’re not play acting and will just stand up, shouting “Only Kidding!”.

But there are a couple of small problems I have, first James Bond is hardly in the damn thing, and after the frankly fantastic job he did with Casino Royale, I wanted to see what he would do in this. Not a lot it seems. Again, it maybe a precursor to the next two where he destroys an entire army using the trusted Aston Mar….I mean, errrr…his lordly washing powder… I haven’t a clue.

Second, I kept thinking of Star Wars for two bits of the film (Luke, I am your father springs to mind, and those who have seen the film who now know exactly what bit I mean, hell I expected her to sound like James Earl Jones after!) and the evil empire who wants to rule all and not have any doubts out there that they are right. Apparently this is all religious b*****ks if you read about the books and film on t’internet and that’s why there is a fuss.

Who actually cares?

Third, Witches, what are they there for again? aside from the fact that Eva Green is acting as one of the witches, and fair play that’s not a entirely bad reason.

And lastly, stop just dropping things in the film to explain bits which seem really important but then is just cast aside as it is rubbish. Oh, btw the way Lord Ariel Ultra’s alright, he built a secret lab and had a shave while you were all fighting. Seems it would have taken more than that to really explain, an extra few minutes to actually see what happened fully wouldn’t have hurt and made it more exciting.

However because I have rambled a fair bit on the film I must point out that the film was alright to watch, and I didn’t fall asleep like I did when watching the Lord of the Rings (only the first one, I still have not watched the rest for fear of killing the local population) which means that while being in the same type of genre as the aforementioned sleeping pill, it did get me wondering what happens in the next one.

But I think I actually have to read the books first. And then maybe find out about the main plot of the other worlds which got sidetracked in this film, but sounds like a bloody good story. So come on, bring it on, I’m ready.

(All pictures are © New Line Cinema but I just nicked them for use here.)

Yes, it’s true. Yet another trailer for the Duke Nukem: Taking Forever game has been produced although this time it has sparked the most unlikely of reactions from the gaming community.

It’s most commonly known as “Couldn’t give a s**t” syndrome. Because the ever awaited proper sequel to Duke Nukem 3D has been over 10 years in the pipeline and all but written off as what is termed around the gaming world as Vapourware, something which will have trailers galore, but will never see the light of day, when 3D Realms announced this new teaser footage, gamers on forums just went ‘meh’, and went for the kill of no real gameplay shown.

No release date again has been mentioned, so brace yourselves for another 10 year wait if people are to be believed.

The trailer has been posted on YouTube, and well it’s not often I link to things on the great booth of video naughty, but because I prefer people to make their own minds up, here is the teaser for you to enjoy.

Of course the wide eyed amongist you would have spotted that the site has been decorated, just like our home, which we have just finished doing, ooooh, I’m feeling really festive now, and it is now a mere week away till my first christmas in another country. Can’t wait!

Now on a unrelated note, the band we have pushed here at Ooh Sometimes quite a bit, Crashing Cairo, had posted a message on their MySpace page. It was put out a while ago, but I never had chance till recently to tell you all about it. Half way through there is a thanks to the website mentioned, so like the proud father handing out cigars and setting fire to things to celebrate, here’s the message from the band in full.

 

 Wax from the Band [1:37m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

and they have updated their website with extra goodness so here is the url for that: http://www.crashingcairo.com. We have also recieved a few more emails regarding the last podcast, and how good it actually was, so from the bottom of my manly heart, thank you all very much.

Take care people and remember only a few shopping days left. Ugh.

And finally for the last of the three Christmas write-ups for the week ending 16th December 2007, or week ending 15th December 2007 depending on where you consider the week ends and the new one begins, I give you the works Christmas doo.

Every year, where I work, they rent out the International Centre in Telford, and allow all the broken hearted people who are driven into the ground, wondering what’s the point any more, and consider throwing themselves off a cliff, just to reach the Samaritans phone cunningly placed at the bottom of the cliff. They are a funny bunch, the Samaritans!

As I was saying before going off on a complete tangent, this event allows the workforce to unwind, drink lots on behalf of their respective companies, dance like silly people and makes sure that you can’t face certain people come the next day.

They also have a theme running every year, this year of course as mentioned previously on the blog, the theme was the school disco, where people of various ages dress up in school stuff or not. Sounds simple doesn’t it? You get some food, a lot of booze, a free casino where you can win nothing and a stage show. Should be good. Cue applause.

Before I go into what happened, I have to remark on something which I found on the Telford international centre website:

“The best party in town. You certainly don’t want to miss it! Each year it just gets better, so roll on Christmas 2007!” Alison Henderson

I always thought it was the only party in Telford.

Oops.

Anyway, the evening started off pleasantly enough, I was driving this year you see, last year I was so buggered after drink and other various “things” that the Friday afterwards, I could barely stand. So I decided not to do that and was confined to drinking normal non-digestive system destroying drinks, and Steve was my passenger, suitably dressed in school attire and hitting the baby booze quickly. After all, if it’s free, then you generally expect a stampede to the bar.

The evening for me was one of catching up with people you haven’t seen around the place for a fair while, various people came out of the woodwork and it was grand to see them being perfectly honest without caring that at some point we had to go back to our desks. Though, it must be said, I spent very little time with the people I do work with now. No offence, but I see you conniving bastards every work day, and there were more women elsewhere.

Before I continue, big up (I believe that’s the street term) to Laura (who wanted pictures of everything), Alistair, Rachel and Bedelia (we discussed which women we would have, best conversation of the night), Dorris, Squiz, Jason, Rob, Matt, Niki, Chris, Coop, and everyone else whose names have fallen out of my head again. That won’t mean much to everyone in the outside world, but never mind.

Before retiring to the dining room, we were treated to school kids singing various songs from Christmas past, the ones that torture you during going to any public place at this time of year, I swear at one point in the future, people will riot and burn every Christmas compilation album every released. They didn’t want to be there, it was clear, who would want to sing to a group of people whose sole purpose was to piss and moan about work, while forgetting that if they have one more whisky, they will need their stomachs pumped.

The place was less packed than I remember (what little I do remember from last year) from last time, possibly a sign of the strained times, but then again, what people were there did give it some go. Fair play, only one person tried to dance on the table, and the rest wandered about a bit.

The main music disco type thing was good, the band bless them, blasted out hit after what-the-hell-was-that, though it appears they thought they were playing Glastonbury, being very glad to be in Telford (please, no jokes) and then telling the by-this-time buggered crowd who they all are, asking them to get a round of applause as each band member did something.

Let it be said, the only thing worse to receive than no applause is one person clapping.

The food was an issue of contention (remember it’s free) as it appears they were employing 1st year primary school kids, the same ones who performed on the stage earlier and who had received so much adulation, as they hadn’t learned how to cook. Never mind, I’m sure one report to the authorities will halt the child labour abuse and force them to employ people from Poland. Dammit, I demand Polish workers to feed our fat asses!

The casino filled you with the excitement that comes with winning and losing nothing, though a part of me is convinced they are running a extremely crap money laundering scheme, photocopying one side of a hundred dollar bill, come on at least scan both sides and print in colour. Do you want to be taken seriously on the international scam stage?

I am gutted that I left the party, not only sober but sans one crate of Budweisers owed to me by “assisting” someone with their degree work. I’m coming to get you sir. I know where occasionally you are, maybe…

And after getting back to Shrewsbury I settle down for the night, only having to wake up early and depart for home the next day. And don’t worry Steve, I have already started researching the remote control tumbleweed device for use when people make no sense what so ever, and the moment has that rubbish silence. Just be warned, when I start talking, the thing will be burned out due to overuse.

The second of the week’s outings took both Natalie and me this time for something decided different. Highfield Hall was holding a Murder Mystery night, where you have some food, some drink and try and find out who killed the host of the evening.

Highfield Hall is somewhere in North Wales, yes Wales, where a Welshman with many girlfriends is considered to be a shepherd. It’s a hotel, where they have various events such as barn painting or clothes drying, some such like that, and they also do evenings like the murder mystery and Justine, one lady in North Wales, thought it would be something different for everyone to enjoy. We then tagged along.

The company we were in, were those I hadn’t seen for a very long time. Justine was a year older and a year wiser (well not for another week at the time but never mind) so hurrah three times! Jo was showing the baby pounds now, and she is expecting a girl which is nice. I’m never sure what to say about babies being honest.

Haydn and Claire were also there (thank you once again for the present, it was really unexpected and nice), with Mandy and her new boyfriend, who is an absolute hoot by the way, it appears there are truly others in the world with a fantastic sense of humour like myself, but his was clearly more refined and he has much to teach me!

The murder itself revolved around a womaniser who had three women on the go, one who had money, one who did the washing and one who gave off the impression of being a lady of the night, but was a complete red herring.

You got the impression as events moved on that although only one person would have comitted the murder, more than one person would have known about it, and we had the chance to question the ladies in regards to what was going on with them, asking various questions such as what washing powder do you use? Are you a hore? What time is it?

Something which real life detectives would love would happen, but that pesky thing called death get in the way, you even getting a chance to talk to the dead man, which is different. I must admit though, the way he was playing off all the ladies, was quite a piece of work, and again I feel I have much to learn.

The only difference with the people you question, the dead don’t lie and the living will. Which means that you have to remember everything you are given just in case those lovable rogues tell you fibs.

One surprise of the evening was one of the women’s names, the lady of the night, turned ruse to lure us away, she was called Linda Carter. Now forgive me, but that instantly means Wonder Woman was involved somewhere along the line. When she came out from behind the curtain, both Mandy’s new bo (I will get his name one day!) and myself stated singing “Wonder Woman!” in a pitch that made the Bee gees sound like tug boats.

Good twists and turns were abounding on the story, and only towards the end would you have enough pieces of the puzzle to guess who it was. I won’t say who did it, how and why, but you get the chance to go through an evening like this I do suggest you go because at the very least you get to be whatever your favourite detective is, wish I had that smelly brown mac now.

The food was alright, the coffee was plentiful, as I was still tired from the night before already but it was great to see people again, old and new and for the first time in a long time, I look forward to the next meeting of us all.