To break the silence after the happenings of the weekend and the treachery of real life which has stopped the progress of the podcast, it is with great pleasure that I take time out from the frantic running around that currently grips my days to remark on another website once more.

At long last, Levkovska.com has a proper site up and running with the paintings created by the lady of leisure up for all to see, cry over and perhaps want to spend huge amounts of cash on.

More content will be added over time and one or two other extras per chance, and as it stands, it’s nice to finally see such fine works of modern art on the internet for all to see. Granted I am slightly biased in this fashion but rest assured, just visit the site and you’ll see for yourself, that the Tate Modern don’t know what they are missing (aside from Poly-filler for the crack in the floor…. )

So please, take a look: Levkovska.com

Warning: loading may be slow for users on 56k modem connections due to images.

Due to reasons very much as a result of my fiddling in real life, currently Podcast 3 sits 3/4 written with recording not likely to occur until after next week. The main reasons have been work related I’m afraid, so expect a filler podcast to fill you’re ears full of evil shortly once again.

Sorry campers, I am letting you all down again (Yes Keith, you will have to wait slightly longer, hahahaha etc), but one day I may be able to explain why. Right after eating a selection of tasty cheesy snacks from your local Tescos (for the reason of Balance, other supermarkets are available.)

Regretfully, That’s all the time I have to write today, as much continues to happen and there is only so much time for sitting down with cups of tea and biscuits.

The Lord of Leisure has finally begun resuming his leisurely activities, much to the rejoicing of the countless millions who offered their lives to ensure a return to form, lying on the settee, watching Doctor Who reruns while consuming the delicacies of various nations, such as the slighty grilled, yet refined with Worcester Sauce “cheese toastie”, which we all know was invented by James Watt in 1803 while working on his bike,

This was shortly followed by tasting the rare and satisfying “crisp” which was invented by the Venetian monks of Belgium in 25AD which was a result of finding the divine answer to “Where did I leave thine keys again?”

Even the pope gave thanks during his recent visit to America, when CNN questioned his grace about the sudden turnaround in fortune for the Lord of Leisure, he simply remarked “See, there is a god. I told you so, didn’t I?”

So it was a return to the things that I enjoy doing the most. From the very moment at waking up at 8:16am the proceeding morning, a feeling washed over me. Something was different, but what? Not bad different but good different. There was a sense of not rushing, and after drifting back and out of the erotic freeview land filled with the female of the species wearing various levels of clothing, I wandered down the stairs with a smile on my face and a stain in my underwear.

It then dawned on me. The different was: you don’t have to rush around doing anything today. Go and have fun mate.

When you are able to spend the vast majority of the day doing what you want, in this instance, playing a game without worrying about anything else what so ever, that’s when you know all is well. I had yearned for the mindless taste of free running and graphic violence that Assassin’s Creed presented all during the week, in fact, since it flew into my letterbox last Thursday, and to have a concentrated time to really get into it was fantastic.

I had played a few bits of the game but nothing past the first city, Acre as the dreaded work had beckoned me to complete that before other shenanigans. But as that was handed in on Thursday, there’s nothing more that can be done. It’s either good or bad, so now that’s it out of my hands, why worry?

I did actually finish the game too, clearly of course it was left open for multiple games afterwards to follow in it’s wake. Overall good effort from Ubisoft, it was worthy of my expenditure, though there are quite a few points of note which drag it down, actually perhaps that’s why it’s one of the easiest jobs in the world to be a critic. Pointing out flaws as always an easy task whereas pointing out what something does very well, is a lot more challenging.

I’ll tell you all about it in the next podcast, how about that for a slice of fried gold?

The rest of the time was spent watching some of the telly for a change, like the new series of Have I Got News for You and also tinkering with a few bits and bobs as you do. It was just a day filled with nothing really overly productive and it was good. If everyday was like that, then frankly, we would have either Heaven on earth, or some nightmare where the human race dies from being like sloths.

Today, which is Sunday, was also a leisurely day, waking up and once again drifting in and out of the aforementioned naughty place, before getting up and wandering downstairs to begin the lengthy but slightly more entertaining than other stuff process of thinking up entertaining gimmicks for the podcast.

There isn’t long left before that’s due so either I get the old skates on, bang out yet more award winning material which will cause profound thinking or dementia, we still don’t know yet, we’ll be in another naughty filler situation which is more than likely what May will bring, as there is so much to squeeze in there, we very well may have to skip another month. Of course time will tell on that.

As well as making sure that the most important thing today was done (buying milk), I once again took some time to causally sit down in Shrewsbury with Natalie and Laura again, in the same coffee place by the way, as before except the mood was a lot more cheery. There was also a crowd but they were more concerned with getting a moco-choco-bococino than anything else. Shame.

All this laying about may have not been a good thing but there we are, that has been the weekend’s duties and as Sunday draws to a close, we carry on with typing away on various things, all of which is nothing to with work. If this is what it takes to be happy, sign me up.

Nice.

The Lord of Leisure remains entrenched in the Arctic Tundra, his work ever coming to an end. But having been by himself for many days, fever has started to set in with thoughts most foul occurring. Well, different foul thoughts other than the normal you come to expect.

It is a time of great concern when thoughts like this occur, a time of choice, and a time of gambling for tonight’s mystery star prize only to find it’s a toaster. Every man has gone through this throughout the generations, and will continue to do so until as such time, that like every Star Trek episode has suggested, we leave our bodies behind to torment the universe with mystical farting.

And for once, I’m not going to leave this vague to cause confusion and arousal at the same time. It concerns the females of the species. And that means trouble.

You see, because of recent naughty with various amounts of work and not having the right time sorting out skills, it is well known that I have not been having much fun such as writing articles for the blog, I actually miss the creative writing that I prided myself on ensuring what Ooh Sometimes would become, as perhaps a portfolio to be proud of and maybe as a steping stone to write for other websites and podcasts.

The life experiences which happened back in the days when I did have interesting things to talk about, along with the colourful swearing and erotic but highly sexist banter was a great way of either blowing off some steam or voicing opinions about subjects which would be been difficult to write anywhere else.

I miss the process of thinking up hugely absurd ideas, creating fun and chaotic filth for the podcast with Mr. VO Man, that has fallen behind once again, the script with ideas left in a digital corner gathering dust, and the 26th of April release date looks a bit dodgy at present.

There was to be a stab at true radio presenting, which, after a phone call, that whole promise of grandness has gone down the toilet, for now at least the Aston FM position has become a pipe dream and thus perhaps a refuge from the grey fortress of IT.

There have been few full on bouts of gaming (in other words, playing violent shooters thus satisfying my white middle class blood lust) on many award winning titles, some of which still have remain unplayed and loved.

Perhaps it’s the fact that we haven’t been going out much, consumed in the work. Even then when I have been out somewhere, like Manchester last weekend where once again, Glyn, Kelly and Christine were more than kind hosts, and I was still under the weather. However comments made while there, caused some concern. Put it this way, it worries you when they say you look pale and the stomach issues etc has maybe been down to stress.

Surely this is not true? Can stress manifest itself in improper movements in the stomach? (I’m not counting the bottom trumping as that’s business as usual)

For some time I have slowly but surely been breaking and now have actively vented frustration and anger at anyone and everything. This includes Natalie. Now basically this is my fault and she has enough on her plate right now with the beginning of several art exhibitions, which are more than likely to be successful, without me getting out of the car and proceeding to cause a reign of terror over L.A.

I believe that if I do not calm myself down and return to the leisurely ways I used to take pride in being like, she will go. And that would be fair enough as no-one likes someone who moans about everything even when things look up.

I need a good sit-down and a jolly good think about what the situation is, and what can be done to quell the “Beast of Bonjella” that has consumed the soul of the Lord of Leisure and has left in it’s place, a bitter 90 old man, with a mug of beef tea, mumbling to passers by about how cold it is. Normally I’d ask for volenteers for kicking me up the backside, however that list may be rather long now as a result of recent times, so I won’t.

Whatever happens, all will become clear soon I feel and either it gets better or worse. My mind and heart are dangerous things to leave unguarded, in case they both leave the cage and go wandering off to find different things to laugh at, leaving me to hire Dastardly and Muttley to catch the b*****ds before another series of cartoons is made about those adventures. You know which ones….

And now one of the assignments is out of the way, with hopefully no comeback from the tutor to say I’ve failed and the exam and other assignment also comes back all good, I can take the foot off the pedal and begin to relax again, sorting myself out in the process. Hopefully before I really do make a balls-up of everything. After all, it would be only myself to blame.

I’m not writing this for sympathy, far from it, I’m writing this as it’s been building up and I wish to get it out in the open. Perhaps some good will come from all this. Failing that, a Cornetto would be nice.

While other things are afoot, it’s about time the text from the review on the last podcast was placed on the Internet with countless pictures used

This month for the choice of game on Gamer’s Corner from episode 2 of the podcast, it was a rather difficult affair to decide over, The Witcher was going to be reviewed but has been put on hold pending the release of the fancy dancy version which seemingly fixes everything I found to be wrong with the game.

Assassin’s Creed on PC just arrived in the post so that was out of the question unless I nicked the Tardis and jumped forward 3 weeks.

So that didn’t leave that many games to destroy in a audio shelling, with most of my time has been spent typing for endless days so this month, it’s a retrospective review about a game which so many adored for different reasons and yet despised by a fair few too:

Bioshock

Paul, you resplendent superstar of knowledge, surely reviewing a game that came out August last year is silly considering the world has moved on since then, what about Sam and Max Season 2: Episode 4, Sins of a Solar Empire, Spooking Jehovah’s Witnesses by opening the front door holding a blood stained knife and shouting “WHAT?”

Well that’s a fair comment, I cannot deny that Bioshock may be last year’s news and to keep it dragging out from the retirement home to dance for us is surely going to bring the wrath of social services for not treating the old girl right, but Sam and Max, the gameplay doesn’t really change much and I would end up spoiling the story because I can’t help myself, even now I want spoil the ending by saying that it was the butler that did it….oops.

And as for Sins of a solar empire, I have only just got a copy of the game after being paid my £7.20 for the month and by all accounts from people masturbating over the game, it takes roughly 78 years to finish a game, and at the present moment the time simply isn’t there.

Besides occasionally it’s rather healthy to re-examine a game after the hype has all died away, was it as good as we all thought it was. There’s also the added argument of patches which fix issues and add content here and there, which actually when you come to think about it, That sums up most games these days, with that scallywag the Witcher taking pole position, has the core of what made the game been changed in anyway and is the replayablity there? (yes, I know, another ability word there, campers, see that Uni course is teaching me a lotablity.) And lastly I haven’t reviewed it before so why not?

So Bioshock then, for those who have a life, busy performing illegal acts with the gender of your choice and afterwards spend time laughing at YouTube videos that show dogs set on fire, I’ll explain what the story is in simple terms:

It’s about a man who has a bit of a bad day after a plane crashes then winds up in an society gone horribly wrong. Two people don’t like each other, you’re used, you fight back, beat up little kids and inject yourself with so many needles that the police surely should be knocking on your door asking if that’s really a prescription from your doctor. Ok that’s an oversimplification.

The battleground for your pwn-pwning is Rapture, a Butlins holiday camp underwater created by Andrew Ryan who had enough of society as a whole (and as it stands, I think a lot of people share that same feeling about today’s lovely mess we live in, but let’s crack on)

It seems a substance known as ADAM (although I suspect it’s named otherwise by the amount of spam I get about it) has turned the citizens into a bunch of demented naughty people who seem to want to kill only you when you peer around the door, waving and smiling, hoping to make a few friends and have a chat over a pot of tea.

Yes, its genetics gone mad again, when will they ever learn, haven’t they seen the sixth day staring Govonator Arnnie? Actually if they haven’t it’s probably for the best…

But as with all FPS, you don’t play with kittens and feed the homeless, you shoot things, so what have we got in Bioshock with a big bullseye painted on them for you to destroy?

Well, in truth, not many. The variety of the enemies is a bit lax in this department. Because it was the human population taking ADAM, They are all still basically human at the core with messed up faces and slightly different attributes. But seeing as different levels of ADAM gives different effects, you will be introduced to one type of enemy walking on the ceiling then dropping down to do a few cartwheels to show off to their mum and dad at the school sports day, another group has discovered nice things which have a habit of exploding.

And finally, another group of people have watched The Illusionist (perhaps because of Jessica Biel, and who can blame them) and started to perform vanishing then re-appear slightly further away tricks, which has you running around silly trying to get them. Which, despite the way I’ve described the bad guys and their nasty habits, is a good thing. It kept me moving and aiming trying to stay half a millimetre ahead of the game.

But as for the rest of the evil doers, it seems they ran out of money for ADAM, not really having magic powers and therefore just want to charge at you and either shoot you with a nice gun or hit you with a jolly big stick, perhaps upset that ADAM never even sorted them out with enlarged genitals to impress the girl baddies.

The one major enemy that’s 100% different to the normal citizens is the big daddy, whose name unfortunately does conjure up a reference to a 1960’s porn film. These lumbering beasts who protect possessed little girls who enjoy stabbing corpses with large needles, will charge at you dealing huge damage and can be hard to take down early on. Some have a Black and Decker drill on one arm, others have a bolt gun, either way they can be taken down in no time if all you do is keep firing and setting them on fire…heh heh.

Bioshock is a first person shooter available on PC and the Xbox 360, which means it’s better on the PC in terms of controls, for example to change a weapon on the PC you use the mouse wheel and right button together with a number on the keyboard for great success, all while still avoiding the hooligans who want to rearrange your face to resemble a Picasso painting.

The Xbox 360 however, you have either just cycle through with a button until you get the right one, or pause the game to allow you to select what you want which is kind of bad in terms of pulling you out of the bang bang and make people cry bit, making it all ever so less immersive. Picky I know, but I still get to say Hahahahaha etc.

And to the game’s credit, there are a few ways you can deal with the horde of evil-doers, you have your guns and grenades, or you have special genetic abilities which are picked up as you go along, such as “Winter Blast”, the ability to freeze your opponent where he/she stands, “Incinerate”, which sets them on fire, or “Emasculate”, when used, the bad guys end up feeling rotten about themselves. (Ok, that last one isn’t there, but it would be fun to have though!)

How you use these are up to you and offers some variety in dealing with the baddies, as does the helpful tonics which boost your character no end that towards the end of the game, Superman would have trouble dealing with you.

The security system (ha ha, I hear the people who have played the game say, he’s mentioned the security system at last) seems a wee bit too futuristic considering the time setting and the fact that Rapture has been cut off from the real world with any advances they had made, and if the hacking mini game allowed anyone to come along and alter things to be more friendly to them, surely all the citizens would have their own turrets following them everywhere, but this is being a wee bit too picky.

What I will be picky over, is the main boss type people, it seems that they aren’t really pumped up in any way and therefore the few shots and burning sensation they get from you is more than enough to sort them out. They are depicted as being important aspects as to how Rapture and the principles Andrew Ryan laid about no-one being constrained by governments to perform their work, but then after a scene where they show their deranged selves, you feel it’s meant to be harder.

I mentioned the little girls earlier, these little sisters collect ADAM from bodies for some reason and it’s you job to either kill them for lots of ADAM in return or save them for not as much ADAM, but then you get other plasmids and more ADAM as gifts later on.

It’s a moral choice in a game where morality is left far behind in pursuit of perfecting ideas, and depending on which path you chose changes the end of them game, of which you are firmly evil or firmly good. If you kill one little sister, you will get the bad ending.

Paul, you insert random comment about your manliness here, kill little girls, that’s a bit off isn’t it? And yes it is, but in fairness to 2K, that is never shown in any detail, and considering how gruesome the rest of the game is, surely that’s a well made decision?

The graphics are extremely well done and serve to show the city in its full run-down glory, the water effects are superbly done and all credit to the design team for creating things of the 1940’s era but twisting to fit the environment here. This was the first game to really bump up the minimum requirements for running the game well, and frankly I’ve slated that kind of behaviour already for others, so we’re not going into that more here.

For the really scary parts, I’m afraid the award for making you change your nappies has to fall to the sound, the high pitched violins, the crazy talk by another former happy person about times past all leaves you with a sense of dread, which for a game is excellent.

The story is there, but you have to look for it at times and frankly if you don’t then it’s a bit of a waste of time playing the game, just fire up generic shooter 56 if that’s all you want, there are handy audio diaries around, and the key moments with Atlas and Andrew Ryan are among some of the most compelling and thought-provoking you will ever see.

However, this game has been done before. Sorry, but for all it’s polish, story, design, details, sound and graphical excellence, It’s basically System Shock 2 which can run on modern equipment. I’m not the first to compare it with that past game and certainly not the last, and perhaps because we know what System Shock 2 was about and what that included, Bioshock sort of stumbles around like a stand-up comic trying to find a joke to entertain the crowd while they falling asleep. And forgive me, but isn’t genetics gone wrong getting old? I do also have an issue with the fact that the guy you play will inject himself with anything regardless of whether or not it’s a good idea.

The extra plasmids given in the patch have added one or two extra bits to play with and having the widescreen view is a welcome addition as I am one of those arse holes who sold other people’s stuff to get one of those screens, but once you’ve been through Bioshock, the only reason to go back into it going to be with one of those people who feel compelled to relive those classics moments in the game, otherwise it’s back down the local boozer destroying your life in other ways.

Or is there another reason? It’s at this point I have to mention a feature that may have been an unintended bonus. During the playback of Bioshock, I had shown the lady friend what the fuss was all about as the art style had intrigued her, or it could have been the simple fact that she was humouring me before telling me to do something useful like boiling socks.

But when she first saw the bad guys melted faces and heard their deranged mutterings, she was utterly disgusted and felt ill, she immediately asked what kind of people created this game? So Ken Levine, what kind of person are you to create this? Why didn’t you feature someone drowning puppies as well that would have really made her thrown up…. heh heh.

So the unexpected bonus feature of this game is that if you want some free time to yourself, tell the other half you’re playing Bioshock and they’ll leave you alone.

So in summery, Bioshock is:

· Detailed very well

· Sound particularly is superb and excels in scaring you half to death.

· Replay is limited though if you do, you may unexpectedly free up time from the lady friend which was a surprise.

· Story is compelling and well executed, but you need to keep looking for those audio diaries to make it worthwhile.

· Not many different bad guys really.

· Bosses are weak.

· Runs well on high specs, not for the faint hearted low specs.

· Controls are good.

· Not much choice in routes taken to get to the end

· The Harvest of the little sisters affects the ending, though only two possible outcomes.

· It’s been done before by System Shock 2

· Patch added a couple of good bits but maybe not enough to bring you back.

So is Bioshock still worth playing and is it worth the hype. If you’ve never played System Shock 2, oh dear god yes. If you want a rich story that questions morality and twists like you never expect, yes, if you want extra fine creative detail in the looks and sound departments, indeed yes. For everything else, I’m afraid not.

So using the utterly useless 1-10 system with with 1 being the equivalent of telling your best friend you’ve had his sister while 10 being the equivalent of having your wicked way with sexy triplets and the score of 12 being reserved for games of unquestionable perfection, I hereby award Bioshock:

Granted it’s linear, not an awful lot in terms of original features that hasn’t been in games before and only truly effective the first time you play, but it’s so well executed you can’t help but feel you get your money’s worth.

If you would like a particular game reviewed instead of the Lord of Leisure reviewing seemingly only good games then why not drop a line to podcast@oohsometimes.com

Unbelievably as I type this, tickets are still available for this year’s Glastonbury, and you don’t even have to have registered back in February as this has been reopened as well. The excuse of the mud is still being touted as being the reason why they all haven’t been sold, a further 6,000 tickets have been sold, with a rumoured 30,000 still out for the offering.

Rumours are also rife with Jay-Z pulling out of Glastonbury due to the sheer negative vibe that has been received. Come May, we will know the line-up for sure and then people will either pull their hair out at how good it is, or as I suspect will be the more accurate occurrence, shrug their shoulders, not care and carry on with their lives.

However at the moment, it appears someone needs to go to the IIS web server hosting the Glastonbury website and free up some disk space, because at the moment, it is not available.

EDIT: Yes, someone finally fixed it, so you can carry on looking at the website.

I have taken some time out during my extended stay in the Arctic tundra to remark on the musical gatherings this year, and today of all days for a very good reason. It appears that the sales for Glastonbury 2008 are proceeding rather at a slower pace than last year. At the time of writing which is 6:23pm on the Sunday, tickets are still available for those who registered their details earlier this year.

The same time last year, tickets sold out in three hours.

A lot of people attribute the fall of interest in the fact that this year, the headliners are not exactly artists which get the blood flowing to the various organs. Kings Of Leon, Jay-z and The Verve are the main acts with others so far including Leonard Cohen, Neil Diamond, Elbow, Kate Nash, Goldfrapp, The Editors, The Enemy, Dizzee Rascal, Jimmy Cliff and lastly The Fratellis.

Jay-Z has had a lot of attention thrust upon him as his music isn’t strictly in keeping with what the white middle-class mixture of pi**ed up uni students, old people and stag parties come to expect from Glastonbury. They expect rocky folky type music during the day and evening, with dance music from Fatboy Fat or Mobo to try and cop off with members of the opposite sex to and why not?

The festival is located in the south-west, a place not highly populated with Black ganstas rapping their way through being repressed by the man, buying jets, cheeseburgers and claiming all the bitches in the house as their own then wanting to shoot everyone. Then again, I’ve not listened to a lot of Jay-Z’s music and therefore cannot comment properly what it’s truly like. But I did listen to “Blue Magic” and “Show Me What You’ve Got” on YouTube, and well….judge for yourself.

Warning: Video contains 2 men and a woman driving expensive things while showing off how much money they have and how big their genitals are:

For the record I happen to think “Show Me What You’ve Got” is not that overly bad. However “Blue Magic” was effing rubbish.

Michael Eavis, the nice man who I met last year, who organises the festival every year for the purpose of raising money for charities, has told Jay-Z, that he will escort him onto the stage and introduce him to the audience at this years Glastonbury Festival.

Eavis made the offer after the rapper had expressed concerns about the audience not being the usual Birmingham or London crowd.

“OK, I’ll do something that I haven’t done for the entire 38 year history of the Festival – I’ll take you on stage and introduce you to the audience.” Eavis told the American rapper. And to make sure perhaps that no further naughty can happen from the audience, Jay-Z will be joined by several guests on stage, including Coldplay’s Chris Martin and Beyonce.

The main reason given for the different selection this year is to bring younger people to the festival and to shake things up by introducing different music.

I think the whole issue has been because the artists’ music has a limited appeal for most with some (a minority from reading NME’s website for example) praising the selection to put him on the main stage.

Last year at Glastonbury, we had the Arctic Monkeys, The Killers and the Who headlining all bands with huge followings in their own right. Kasier Chiefs, Amy Winehouse, Magic Numbers, and The Manic Street preachers, not to mention the awesome lung capacity of Dame Shirley Bassey all contributed to an amazing experience which was had by all of the group who went last year.

But this year, the acts we know who are going to perform, are simply not resonating with people hence why the sale has gone on slowly. They will sell out, don’t worry about that, but a lot of people will simply be finding other things to do this year, it’s not a factor of the mud, people would go to Glastonbury regardless, last year was a testament to that.

The music is certainly a big factor. Dizzee Rascal for example, played at the V festival and a Chinese man yodeling the German national anthem in every known language while having his testicles prodded with a knife would have been less of a traumatic experience. For that sort of music, the market is still small for a live performance.

And so far, the line-up which is confirmed, people are not jumping up and down for it. Even the possible promise of the return of Amy Winehouse to form has been met with: ok then. Perhaps that’s her own doing on that side but still it’s a valid point.

Add to the fact that everyone is feeling the credit pinch about having to pay huge amounts a month to go even just to work, let alone pay £200 and more a pop for tickets, transport and food etc. and suddenly you will get a bigger sense that people are perhaps being more conservative.

Sad as it is to say, charity be damned when you’re worrying about your own well-being first and making sure you’re ok in terms of having a decent quality of life, that’s why we all go to work day after day. You’ll be condemned by quite a few for being selfish, but it’s a natural thing to do. We’re human after all!

Just face it, this year is not the year of the festival not just because of Jay-Z at Glasto.

There are only a few select names from the mixture of the festivals which stand out, for example, the money-robbing, corporate bastardised, seat-nicking-because-they-fear-you-do-naughty V festival are featuring the likes of The Hoosiers, Lenny Kravitz and The Prodigy with the Leeds and Reading Festivals having the likes of Rage Against the Machine, The Killers, Metallica and Tenacious D on stage (Dizzee Rascal is there too, so never mind). T in the Park has REM, KT Tunstall, Counting Crows and once again, Rage Against the Machine. Very nice.

All of these have sold out and that’s not a shame at all.

The best way to enjoy live music this year, is to find the bands you really want to see that you can afford and just see them on their own tours. Myself, I have two tickets to see REM in Manchester and the Mighty Boosh in Birmingham. That’s all the acts currently booked at the moment, but perhaps that’s actually enough. You’re dry, it’s cheaper and doesn’t involve lugging around huge amounts of stuff. Beer’s not cheaper though. That is a shame.

A man emerged from the mildly frost free sleeping back and observed the view. All around was whiteness beyond the human imagination. Another day, another currency of your choice, he muttered through the lips that were surrounded by a beard that would have made Grizzly Adams proud.

The weather had died down again for another transmission to make it through, more than just text this time for the people back home to take comfort that the one man which is lazy for all mankind, was indeed able to drink and sit down as normal, just in sub zero conditions. A photograph has been taken of the native landscape and provided here for your viewing mastication:

But the Lord knows his work is not yet over. Though a mere 7 weeks remain until his work is done and he can resume the duties of being leisurely, a remote control in one hand and well, it’s best left alone what the other hand’s doing.

But thoughts have finally begun to surface as to what the Lord may do next. This has been an epic trial, but once it is done, what comfy settee awaits the grand arse of Bolumba, (yes, even the bottom of the Lord was given a title after saving African children from a crate of toilet paper, oh the battle had raged on for days, but that’s another story…) and where does one go from here. Questions which will be answered at a later time it seems.

He still has much to do, though all it involves is actual willpower to achieve the required goals. If only it wasn’t so mind numbing and dull. That’s the problem with things you don’t care about. You tend to leave them alone in favour of other pursuits like chasing midgets.

In the meantime, a request for another UN drop filled with cabbage to fend off the penguins, and a bottle of 1929 Chevrolet de silly name Francais has been requested. Apparently, the Lord has a hot date involving a potato that has formed some basic intelligence and she knows the guy who runs the night club across the street so they can get in free. Nice.

Since the time since last we spoke, The Lady of Leisure has returned from her self-imposed isolation only to have an exam arrive and taunt her by playing the same elevator music over and over again. It is that time of year when all people in education have to knuckle down and get funky with answering things. All shall be well on her front though as it appears Natalie actually knows the subject matter and therefore doesn’t have to just choose C if all else fails (a technique which has helped millions on more than one occasion… )

There has been real news afoot in Zimbabwe of course with everyone current favourite evil villain, Robert Mugofsoup, is preparing to not go down without a fight. Hooray for complete failure of the political system!! How that will play out, people are in fact pretending to care about it and we’re with you until Global Warming comes to our towns to scare off the kids and loiter outside the newsagents, asking old people to buy ciggies for them, then we’ll have other things to do. C’est la vie, I think is the correct phrase there.

The gun loving actor man, Charlton Heston of course, yelled “You maniacs! You blew it up!” for the last time yesterday, and passed away, leaving the damned dirty apes around to wander freely and touch whoever they wanted. Of course he was a grand age of 84 and had a full and “thought-provoking” life, so after all is said and done, we only can wish the remaining family all the best.

Some people have cared about a flame moving around London with lots of people upset about the ordeal, nothing to do with the Olympic torch being ran through with the Tibetan protesters being angry about what the Chinese are doing over there at the moment, just some people were setting fire to random houses again and naturally we’re all upset about it.

And to finish in classic “News at Ten” style with the “and finally…” part of the entry, A good friend, Mr Will Mason has completed his first show on community radio station, Aston FM, which can be heard either via the nice ye olde style radio on the 89.1 FM frequency in the central Birmingham area in the UK, or via the new fangled interweb site: www.astonfm.com

There’s no listen again feature but for the time being if you’re awake between the hours of 7am to 10am Sundays UK time (2am-5am in New York, 11pm Saturday night – 2am Sunday Morning in Los Angeles, 4pm-7pm in Canberra, Australia, 2pm to 5pm in Shanghai…I’m trying to include the international readership and it appears there are too many time zones. Blast.) you can listen to Will inform you about dilly-dallying and tomfoolery, combined with music which can be actually described as music too.

There is talk and possibly treachery afoot which involves the Lord of Leisure making regular appearances on Aston FM at some point too. May the gods have mercy…

Yes friends, the audio naughty that was indicated during the last post from the Arctic wastelands, is indeed another Gamers with Jobs podcast, however the Lord of Leisure took time out from his busy schedule of watching TV to add ever so silly comments to this global phoenomomonomomon.

During this episode, a great many things were discussed such as cross-gaming between the Xbox and PC thanks to Universe at War and Petroglyph’s Chris Ainsworth was along to talk about that aspect of things, but also various other enterprises were afoot including, and it’s hugely surprising that it’s still in there, there is talk about how people will be drawing naughty man bits with the Nintendo Wii.

However I’m the only one on the thing who sounds like he’s hiding in an empty baked bean tin.

 

 Gamers with Jobs: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

(28.4MB, Show time is 1 Hour, 38 Seconds)

Warning: Contains uncensored swearing and mentions things that make the various gods cry…

Now, as to how this happened, it’s slightly bizzare as this wasn’t a arranged thing at all, I really was watching some TV very late and was about to head off to bed, when Skype went off and I was asked if I wanted to participate.

Given the alternative of sleep, it was a tough decision…so I stayed up, no idea of what was going on and what to say, partially as it was then 1am. All I can say is that it was a real learning experience, about how the podcast is created, and also there was a lot of talk which would never make the final cut which was just so funny, it’s a shame that some of it will never see the light of day.

So there we are, some small amount of fame and it appears there is now to be a queue in terms of who the next token British guy will be on GWJ. So please give the GWJ posse the respect that they deserve. And if there is a next time, I’ll make sure I indeed do stay out of the tin. Dear me….