While the times and cocaine habits have been eating into more worthwhile pursuits like washing up, perhaps it’s best if I actually give a humble written opinion on the gaming silly season’s worth of recent releases onto the gaming platforms of recent memory.

Granted, one could argue that there are greater topics of discussion to be had, such as the fact that Climate change has basically taken a back seat to everyone’s pockets being emptied more than usual, or that AC/DC have released an album for the first time in years.

But seeing as I know very little about all that, I may as well amaze you all with my lack of knowledge in another area. Don’t be sad, there are pretty pictures with all this at least. So let’s take a look at some of these choice pieces of meat and make rude comments about people’s hard work starting with;

Fallout 3

It’s America’s favourite Nuclear holocaust simulator. And I suppose to a great extent it went down very well in other countries as well. After all, what better way to spend a Sunday afternoon than blowing up Super Mutants using grenades and a handy aiming system which lets you view the resultant carnage in swirly telly vision?

(No, down the pub getting smashed doesn’t count in this case)

One wonders if Al Bundy or whatever the terrorists call themselves these days like playing this game as it’s as close as they going to get seeing the whole of Washington blown up in detail. After all, they get to set off a bomb of two in this and I guess they need to get in some practise somehow. Oh, look at me, saying this game is a training ground for Terrorists. Next thing you see is that they cry out against Microsoft Flight Simulator for teaching them how to fly aeroplanes….

Err….

Anyway, as much as it pains me to say this, I’m afraid I’ve played very little of this game so far, having turned my attention to the vast number of other titles which have been released around the same time instead. But so far, the impressions I have are mixed. On the one hand you have the VAT system which allows you to target your enemies to great effect and also sort out you tax returns while you’re at it.

And on the other, bugger me sideways and call me frank if you would have to spend over a week non-stop doing nothing but that game. It seems to go on and on like the Celine Dion record like Titanic. And frankly with my limited attention span, I’m not sure how long….ooh a butterfly….

Call of Duty: World at War for the f**king 84383rd time

Yes, those lovable Germans. Bless them for not getting a bit pissed at the various World War games created showing them being defeated time after time. I know the allies won 2-0 so far but sometimes you just wonder if enough is enough. Then my friend Liam reminds me that shooting Nazis is fun and well, would you believe it, off to war we go again, saving our many privates.

Call of Duty once again places you in various over the top battles with cinematic bits all designed to make you think WOW in various langauges. You have co-op modes and other multiplayer puzzles to solve in a battle which will cuminate somehow in a battle in Berlin, but no robot Hitler in this one. Shame really as I would like to see that again.

Thing is…why did we go back to World War 2 again? Call of Duty 4, which was reviewed here for Gamers’ Corner a fair while ago now, showed that the game had grown a fair amount, exchanging the past for the clear and present danger we face today and it had been done so well, it was hard to fault it at all.

Here, well, hmm. Don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. Either way there has been some shooting shenanigans with the Japs who do naughty, and there was a barbeque afterwards, using a flamethrower, and the overall sense that I’ll probably move back to playing with my belly button sooner rather than later.

Wraith of the Lick King

The above screen is as far as I have got with the recently released expansion to the biggest cash cow in gaming history. With 11 million people already addicted, now seems the perfect time to release another injection of drugs into the system. And all I have done is created a Death Knight called SamFisher, and took the first quest.

After that, the masterpiece of modern cuisine known as Super Noodles were done in the kitchen, so off I went to eat them instead. Haven’t touched WOW since.

Left 4 Dead (Well the demo anyway)

Hmm, a co-op game with Zombies where you just go and kill as many as you can while being rushed by them. Simple enough as you might agree, and I believe this may be the new king of Multiplayer. My god it’s just over the top, hugely simple shooting fun with lots of gross bits designed to make your girlfriend leave the room while you carry on creating a death toll bigger than all Rambo films combined. Valve, give me this game now and I wouldn’t be upset…

And that’s you’re lot for now as later this week, even more games come out and it just gets silly. Credit Crunch indeed eh? And as it turns out, no wonder I write so very little at the moment…

You may also notice that in the meantime in-between these now sparsely populated blog pages that I have added an extra thing onto the sidebar. It’s a Twitter feed and this is the logo for it for no reason whatsoever….

Now Paul you mostly absent man of mystery I hear you cry, what is a Twitter feed?

Twitter is another one of those internet fad things which have come around, just like MySpace, Facebook and Gordon Brown. It allows you to write very little via a device of your choice and then people know what you wrote if they actually bother to follow what you are writing.

Seeing as these days, I’m rarely online enough to actually write things of interest despite the fact that everything is in full swing, it seemed like a good idea, so that some of you will still know about the lies, treachery and deceit that goes on.

The problem is I guess, is that you only get 160 characters to use when doing a post, so entire postings are impossible, and so far I’ve only been able to conjure up useless things like “I’m playing games” or “I’m being sexually assaulted.” As you can imagine, not very interesting. But hey, why be down on the system? After all if we don’t embrace these things when they come, then they will just fade away and we carry on with our lives….

(Things like this kind of make you wish you could call on dramatic music at any moment…)

Before I even get onto the point of presenting today’s video from YouTube, I have to actually make it clear that this man is a god. I have the feeling that the world would indeed be a better place, were we to have such fine outstanding men like Terry, fighting the good fight against those slackers who steal stationary.

Ladies and Gentlemen, fall silent for Terry Tate: Office Linebacker

and if that above nugget of gold wasn’t enough, there is now far more at: http://www.returnofterrytate.com/

I should also point out that if it wasn’t for Liam at the Office, I would never have known this joy. Thank you sir.

Just bless my little cotton socks, I have neglected this for quite some time haven’t I? Well I suppose it is my own silly fault, concentrating on the pitfalls of work that comes with doing Windows Server support for a living.

So where the hell have I been this time around? After all the trouble of writing that load of rubbish where all that exciting stuff happened (still wondering about that sex scene) There would have been the expectation of more award-winning material.

I should come clean right now then, which actually sounds like a dangerous thing to begin with. There was barely anything worth mentioning which has happened over the last 7 days, for example:

The Mighty Boosh were on in Birmingham, so a little road trip was executed where the fear of dancing on one’s own like a retarded monkey attached to a live 200v battery was left aside. A disturbing revelation was had when ladies of the evening chose my company over that of fitter men because I had hair and didn’t look like I would chase after cars. The first time looking like an out patient came in handy.

Other than that, nothing much has been going on. I do then wonder why the Rainbow Warrior of Greenpeace has settled into the marina close by where I live. Wonder if they are planning an attack on Canary Wharf after all their money has gone too?

Rest assured dear campers, the Lord of Leisure will return back to his ways of leaving breadcrumbs and poo everywhere and wondering what day it is. Right after playing Fallout 3 for another 60 hours….