Well done, you’ve reached level 2012, the one where it has that boss that floats around stealing our hard earned tax dollars, remember to use the cheat code to unlock the phone hacking ability to use to gather evidence of his Swiss bank account and you win!

It still baffles the mind what the actual reason is for going out to places on New Year’s, other than the fact that you get the next day off and therefore can nurse that hangover you picked up along with a mysterious stranger with breath that could melt a diamond.

And after you’ve cleared away the debris, sat down in the kitchen and eaten two pigs worth of dirty meat to feel somewhat human once more, the grim reality of everything being pretty much the same, except for the lack of any booze left in the house and the instant desire to make all new promises about everything only to fail about three minutes later.

So Happy new year, and actually in a slight twist to the normal new year’s post from Ooh Sometimes in which we drag out the same stereotypes over and over again as what the new year will bring for all, let’s take the opportunity to write some slightly more constructive and nudge our collective memories as we bid farewell to the year that was 2011 and see how much better or worse 2012 could possibly be as a result; Read the rest of this entry »

Seasons greetings to you all! It’s the 25th of December and that means a festive Ooh Sometimes message to be displayed to those who finished all the mince pies, burnt the Christmas dinner and thought those crotchless hot pants they gave to Grandma was a good idea, especially when she came back to show everyone what they looked like on her.

As what should kind of go without saying yet you can’t really get away with it, Merry Christmas to everyone whether they like it or not today, and indeed instead of wishing cheer and peace to all mankind, let’s just remember what it’s all about; spending time with people you go elsewhere to get away from and being disappointed to once again receive that novelty item that everyone thought you’d love but instead would rather choke the dog with.

During the festive period of tolerance to all, the Lord of Leisure will be in residence away from (insert weather condition here) London, more than likely right now I’ll be sharing the sheer joy found on my father’s face over the breast implants voucher he now has to use and the belt sander that mum will use clean the car with.

Ok, let’s just pause for a moment as if you happen to be reading the text within this blog post straight (we’re not sexualist, if that is even a term), you’d be forgiven that the writer of this piece would be about to commit suicide by tinsel. Rest assured that is not the case, it’s just a slightly harder time of year that one would care to admit. Read the rest of this entry »

Given that it’s been at least 6 months since anything meaningful arrived here, one might forgive you if you used Ooh Sometimes as your number one news source, in which case you probably had the idea that London was still burning down in full riot mode, which as it’s coming up to the festive period, would have meant that this time of year would have been a better time as there would have more things to select from your local TV shop than there was in the summer. After all they normally save their best stuff for Christmas.

So at long last it was time to deck the halls with bits of rubbish found in the nearby bins, prepare Grandma for a good stuffing and once again run around trying to get things for people we cannot stand, with money we simply do not have. Merry Christmas indeed. Bah, humbug and other words that Charles Dickens would care to throw out.

In last year’s warning over the forthcoming festive season, it was commented that in general, people’s attitudes seem to have altered in comparison to years gone by, not that I’m an expert in reading human behaviour. There was a great restraint on people mentioning the whole “New Year, New Start” phenomenon which was so popular the year before, which borderline drove me insane, therefore reaching out for some stranger in the street’s throat, screaming “Why wait for next year to do something when you could try and do something about it now….hello officer, didn’t see you there.”

Of course, we were still in the mix of financial cuts that many faced, be it individuals or businesses, and as a result, it seemed to be getting back to basics for a large part of it, in turn somehow making Christmas something more special than getting a few days off to eat, drink and p*ss our misery away while moaning about getting a book about road signs and a watch that tells you that you need to buy another watch.

This year, what actually has changed? Read the rest of this entry »

During the last week, you would be forgiven in thinking that the world had gone mad. Well, madder anyway. This time last week, parts of London and other cities in the UK were subjected to the type of street violence not seen Jeremy Clarkson made a joke about Mexicans.

At the time, I was out of the country and had only heard minor mentions in passing stating that something was going on in London town, but to what extent, it was not certain. It was only after landing back in Stansted Airport late in the evening, as a number of people awaited the National Express back to merry old London, that things were made clearer by the staff working there.

No-one was travelling to the East End, and a limited service seemed to be operating back to Victoria Coach Station, but exactly what was happening was still a mystery. Upon arriving at Victoria, something unheard of in London awaited to greet us. No taxis, and one bus. It was only for taking a chance with a couple of Indian gentlemen who heading back out west in their van, that I was able to make it back for some rest from the bumpy plane journey.

Turning on the news unleashed the full horror of what was happening.

London was literally burning, and it was hard to actually understand why. It seemed that all sense had left us and in the morning, we’d all be hanging out with Mad Max in the Thunderdome, hoping that Tina Turner didn’t want us killed. A further investigation didn’t yield anything further in terms of the real reason as why a fancy dress shop in Clapham was a target of the mob’s wrath but here’s the cut-down jist of it. Read the rest of this entry »

This weekend is probably going to go down as one of the watershed weekends of 2011 for some, and it would be without a doubt for mostly the wrong reasons.

Before we address the real ugliness of human behaviour that occurred in Norway and also to some extent the media coverage of the tragic events, this weekend we witnessed live the emergency services carrying away the body of Amy Winehouse, who was declared dead aged 27 on Saturday afternoon.

While a post-mortem was carried out today and so far has not come back with an official cause of death, pretty much the odds are unfortunately, that she was back on the Lemsip with a swift pint or 34.

It pretty much sums it all up when various famous folks paid tribute as stating what a terrible waste of talent, something which was echoed here on this site from many moons ago but of course, at the time she was still very much with us.

Russell Brand took time out from being a bearded eccentric gimp to write for the Guardian yesterday about the woman who basically rose up and then fell apart. Read the rest of this entry »

The News of the World may have ceased print but the legend is living on with resignation after resignation coming thick and fast, lots of questions still being thrown at anyone who is remotely connected to the whole phone hacking thing like custard pies to the face, (with one actual pie coming into play), it’s still a fast moving rollercoaster, borderline coming off the tracks. For those of you who have better things to do or indeed have read the amazing book “1001 things to do with a sock”, let us condense down the past few days events once more, which will already be out of date by the time we hit the publish button on this bloody thing.

The main event of today were Rupert Murdoch with his son James appearing before some committee that we’ve never heard of until today, on what they knew, didn’t know, and frankly it’s hard to think anything other that they were asleep at the wheel or perhaps easy to fool, as one question after another basically brought pretty much the same answers over and over again, No I wasn’t aware, No I didn’t know, No I didn’t rape that pineapple, no smoking, no running etc..with the world record for saying “The Company” 347329812 times in 2 hours certainly went to James.

Tom Watson was the main warrior against Darth Murdoch, deflecting several attempts by James The Hutt to answer questions about what was known as time and time again, Tom Watson stated that Rupert Vader was the man in charge of corporate governance for the entire company and therefore responsible. It just wasn’t going to go away.

You knew that certain things were never going be to answered and that was certainly the case for a number of questions, and on some level, they may very well not know that much that was going on, after all it wouldn’t be the first time people lied their asses off to pretend that everything is wonderful right up to the bitter end. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s so easy to watch in awe at the recent news while ignoring everything else that we, the mere working mortals of this world actually have the ability to do anything about. Not writing to your elected official about the lack of foxes stealing little children from the park or those damned kids throwing rocks through shop windows to steal the latest 42in flat screen. Just silly things that you’re obliged to have an encounter with at one stage or another in your life, that you never consider until the moment arrives. This is one of those moments.

It’s been some time since I spent a wind-swept Sunday with a happy go lucky chum (who we can only suspect was bored to do anything else) moving home from a one room cardboard box which was called by some “the country club” into a one bedroom deluxe hive of scum and villainy (some of the residents are in fact from the cantina scene in Star Wars), and soon afterwards there was one thing that was noticeable that anything else and it’s actually a very very scary thing.

There was more room. Consider this for a moment. More room.

From the vomit on the keyboard in front of you, I can tell that you were sick at the sheer horror at such an idea, considering that in London a mere £6000 a second will get you an empty crisp packet with outside toilet aka the street. What are you meant to do with more than one metre of room in a place that is entirely your own until the landlord throws you out?

Well, that’s the scary thing you see. Not only does it tell you that you didn’t have that much to begin with, which in itself makes you think that you aren’t actually doing as well as you might think even though that has no bearing on anything at all. When you have indeed take a good hard look at the additional room, the natural instinct that we urban dudes with our floor length mink coats and cheeseburgers leap upon is what crap to buy to fill it up with. Read the rest of this entry »

When it rains, it pours, and right now someone at News International better have a bucket handy to bail out the ever rising tide of brown stuff pouring on them from new heights not seen for generations, and god only knows what the state of the media in the UK will be after all the dust has long settled.

This ever evolving story of lies, treachery and deceit can only be described as the stuff of nightmares to people up and down the country, and still there is ever more that will come out in the days ahead. So given that events have moved apace since last time, and the news only had an earthquake to cover today, let’s recap on what’s been going on, in what some might say is rather boring commentary, and there’s not even much swearing either…

The number of people involved in this whole mess has risen to such a height, that the BBC has dedicated an entire page on their website with a list of people so long, that frankly it’s beginning to make ladies weak at the knees and for men to feel, inadequate.

Even more so, the supposition I made that BSkyB was still going to be bought, just not now right now due to people being slightly upset about their dead loved ones’ phones getting buggered with, took a left turn as News Corp dropped the bid to take complete control of the overpriced then under-priced in terms of shares (well, the crap TV remains overpriced) satellite broadcaster. Well given that there was a House of Commons motion tabled to discuss the whole thing due in a few hours from when the BSkyB withdrawal announcement was made, what else could they do?

But again, the language of the announcement was chosen very carefully, to not exclude them going after it in the future.

Remember that for the majority of all this, you could only feel cynicism with most of the characters invloved?

Well, the bandwagon remains in full swing for now, in addition to the actions being taken in this country, it seems that the FBI, apparently not having much to do these since Jack Bauer retired from blowing crap up to annoy them and Mulder went off to shag women in LA instead of looking over the X-Files, is investigating alleged hacking of the phones of 9/11 victims by the News of the World.
Read the rest of this entry »

And so we come to the final hurdle of the epic drivel about New York, oh the excitement is building to point of you doing naughty on the floor. I can tell.

The entertainment to be had in NYC also varies widely depending on what you’re looking for, but most of it will cost you a fair bit of cash. The two examples I was presented with, and present to you for your consideration, was a stand-up comedy night and a Broadway show.

The stand-up comedy left a lot to be desired if the Ha! club was anything to go by, it’s also the point that the HA! name may actually be ironic. You see, you’re led down to a basement where you are told that after paying for the entrance fee, you are then told you must buy two drinks as a minimum where everything is $10 each. Wonderful, I’m laughing already.

You then get three people on from the local area, whose most impressive lines include “Anyone here from South Carolina?” at which point someone says yes, and He responds “Oh Man!” That’s the joke. Yep. That’s it.

Although at some point one of them asked if anyone was bothered about the Royal Wedding (yes it was talked about all that time ago in March) and out of boredom, I said no, as I was in the front row. I then went on to explain clearly why I didn’t care, and also proceeded to then question how bored the Americans were to be looking at this sort thing, at which point there were more cheers from the audience than during his set. Curious, but there you are.

So basically it was a huge let-down and if you go to the HA! Comedy Club, find the exit instead. You’ll have a better laugh vomiting on a hobo. Read the rest of this entry »

As promised since the dawn of time or since the pointless message post, the third and not final long-winded part of what New York brings will now illuminate the internet after the joys of the Royal wedding yesterday. After the inspiring / painful look into American television the last time, it’s about time we returned to the streets of New York to examine further the people and the environment at which people roam around their daily lives.

But first we return to the weekend’s events where it seems that after finishing work, various people like to take to the streets to say buy this dodgy CD or indeed that the world is ending.

It’s not often you get told the exact date the world is going to end, but luckily while in Times Square, that’s precisely what happened with various people wearing sandwich boards telling us that come May 21st, the world ends and we go and say hello to the big fella upstairs and ask if we can come in for tea and biscuits. You heard it here first.

One thing that seems to be very good is that the Americans will go out to protest over practically anything too, as the Sunday brought up a protest about Muslims being questioned as the Homeland Security Committee was launching a wide-reaching investigation of American Muslims. Yep, they are terrorists and they need to be crushed or whatever. But across town at the same time people gathered in Times Square to protest the treatment of one section of society, there were another group coming out for the treatment of this section of society. See, it’s all equal…..err…. Read the rest of this entry »