In another stab at wandering around aimlessly while pretending to know what I was going to say only for it to all fall apart, I present for your consideration a recording from the PC Gamer Weekender which took place February 18-19 2017 at the Kensington Olympia venu in sunny London. There were many things to enjoy and lament at times and well, the highlights can be seen in this unedited version of the video below. A full edited version will be coming soon.
This is a rather interesting film to look at, given that it was released last year and panned by critics it seems. But more so, it’s up for two Oscars; Best Original Score and Best Production Design. Not exactly a massive endorsement for it’s acting, story or anything else is it? So is it as bad as the people who do this type of thing for a living say?
The main complaints seem to be about for the most part, the film is dull and the story has more holes in it than my underpants. But is it really that bad? After all, I had some real bile build up for Gold at the beginning of February.
Our story begins aboard the starship twirly-thing, which is transporting over 5,000 colonists to the planet Homestead II. This journey apparently will take everyone 120 years, so the entire human population is in cryogenic stasis. Perhaps this is the Ryanair version of space travel and Emirates has Warp Drive or something?
But brown stuff hits the oscillating device as the ship passes through a large asteroid field, the ship’s shield breaks down enough to wake up one passenger. That passenger is mechanical engineer Jim Preston (Chris Pratt), and at first he’s wondering where everyone is aboard the twirly-thing. Then it becomes clear that he’s up 90 years too soon and basically his life is over. He will die aboard that ship.
Bit of a bummer, got to be honest. Continue reading →
Hello there campers, and for those of you who don’t know, I’ve been busy of late and not actually doing anything of worth, save making shaky videos using a smartphone. It’s been a while since I did “Not My Front Room” and it shows with the fact that these were entirely unplanned and made up as I went along. So no change there then.
First of all, from Tuesday 7th while at Westfield Stratford, just after watching Hidden Figures:
And then finally as a special one-off, from outside the Prince Charles Cinema in Leicester Square. A brief message about the legend that is The Room. I met Tommy Wiseau as well, hah. It was an awesome night, hah? Oh hey Mark!
Given the sheer volume of films that I’ve sat through which have been Oscar chasers, I’m not going to sugar coat this one. In fact I’d rather just make a list of things with Gold in the title. Gold by Spandau Ballet, GoldFinger, “Cash My Gold Dale” from those adverts on British TV ages ago… OK, may as well get on with it.
Gold, starring Matthew Mcconaughey, is a crap film with a crap story about someone you will not like in the least. In many ways, it’s a showcase of what the American Dream has become for many; a load of bulls*it designed to screw people as and when possible. Just in this case, when it happens to the main protagonist you’re not that upset.
Perhaps that was just me, who knows?
Matthew Mcconaughey plays Kenny Wells, a balding gold prospector with a girlfriend played by Bryce Dallas Howard. For the record, She’s way too attractive to stay with him and yet she’s there all the time. Some stuff happens with Kenny’s company and then it’s run from a bar. Kenny thinks there’s gold in the Philippines. But they’ve got f*ck all money to get there. What should he do? Continue reading →
Well in the middle of Oscar Bait season, it’s actually nice to be writing about a film which isn’t out for shiny shiny. Well, I say that, it’s really a giant marketing tool for both Lego and Batman. It’s been more than a little slutty in terms of putting itself out there with large tie-ins with advertising Sky Broadband. Generally when you see a lot of something, you expect failure.
After all, when the Lego Movie first arrived on the scene, you wouldn’t expect it to work. In fact you’d be just cynical about it being about it even being remotely entertaining, rather than just brain washing everyone to buy Lego. But you know what? It did. It did it brilliantly. The Lego Movie had a great story with a wonderful twist, fantastic characters with excellent voice acting and just looked so much like the actual products. I’d happily sit down and watch it over and over again. Even if it’s just to sing the insidious “Everything is Awesome.” Don’t judge me….
One of the highlights of the Lego Movie was Batman. Yes, you read that right, Batman. Voiced by Will Arnett, Batman stole the show at times by showing everyone how awesome he is, and that everything in his life is black, or dark grey.
But again, it’s a risk to bring just that chracter to his own film. After all, the Minions went solo away fro Gru (Despicable Me) to their own Minions movie, and the film ended up being so poor, so much of a drop in quality, that we’ll pretty much forget now that it ever existed. Warner Bros, whose own DC Universe project is not exactly having a wonderful time of it so far, need a hit. The best Batman film last year was in fact the animated “Return of the Caped Crusader” with Adam West and Burt Ward. It pretty much destroyed Batman Vs Superman in terms of entertainment with a far smaller budget.
While I’m here, I’m just letting you know that I will be indeed livestreaming again soon. But scheduling will be all over the place until after May 2017. More will be revealed as to why in an upcoming channel update on YouTube, but for now, have a look at the announced livestreams to see if any will take your fancy….
I’m writing this the night before The Donald is sworn into office, bringing with him potentially the destruction of all humanity and at best, a damned good laugh for the next four years.
Rest assured, the event is being screened around the world and in a way, I am just curious as to how much of a car crash it actually will be. The whole thing has been like a car crash, in that you can’t help but slow down to take a look. I mean, if your pick for Education Secretary Betsy Devos thinks we need guns in schools to protect from bears and Rick Perry didn’t even know what job he was going to do, well…. just pick up some popcorn and play out it’s the end of the world as we know it;
So in a weird way, perhaps this is the most suitable time to bring up another mini meh about a film firmly based in a different universe, where we focus on two people trying to make it in the world as various successes and in essence, providing us with a happy escape. La La Land is another love letter in essence to Hollywood and the struggle to get famous by people who have to do sh*tty jobs before that big break. So already you would start suspecting that this would be a film genetically engineered to win lots of shiny shiny things, as if nothing else, Hollywood loves stuff that’s about itself, Trumbo and Birdman being two recent examples reviewed here of course.
Your mood may also be soured by the introduction where various people are stuck on a freeway / motorway in LA, sweating and bored, where they just start a huge musical number and about what is hard to understand half the time, but hey, at least then we know how our two soon-to-be lovebirds, Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling meet, it’s by getting upset with each other when traffic starts moving and Emma decided to read some paper at the wheel instead of driving on. I know I should be referring to their chracter names, but honestly it’s going to be easier to just stick with the actors’ names! Continue reading →
Let the bells ring out, everyone dance in the streets and someone steal me another TV from the betting shop down the road because Oscar Bait season is fully upon us now! YEEHAAAAA!
January couldn’t be a better time to get distracted with films which no-one will watch 6 months from now. With everything that’s happening in the world, we may as well rage against the hollywood machine as opposed to the political machine. For one, what’s happening in the real world is now less real than whatever hollywood could be producing. If Charlie Brooker’s 2016 Wipe was anything to go by, where they really struggled to get the show to be within an hour for broadcasting, I suspect they’re already writing 2017 Wipe and will struggle to keep the programme this time to under 4 hours.
But enough of that pesky reality talk, let’s get to looking at the current season of shiny shiny chasers in the form of Lion, a film due for release this Friday 20th Jan in the UK. Of course tis the season for true stories and we kick with a true story about a cheeky chap named Saroo (played by Sunny Pawar and later, the manly lion adult known as Dev Patel) , who lives a crap life in India but he’s happy. I think, I’m not really sure. He has a family, with a single mother a brother and a sister. One day, Saroo wanders off with his brother Guddu (Abhisek Bharate) to help him work, and in turn leaves his young sister alone in the house as their mum has gone to work. Why? Err……. let’s just bring that up later….
Saroo and Guddu get separated because Saroo falls asleep on a bench at the station and Guddu wanders off and is perfectly happy to leave his small brother alone in a train station.
What the f**k is wrong with everyone? Continue reading →
Wait, this doesn’t look like Oscar Bait! What’s going on here? Have people dared to release something which was just for entertainment and money making’s sake? We will even go more strange as with an added twist, this mini meh features a YouTube video;
Basically the background to this (in the interests of disclosure etc.) is that I attended the European Premiere of xXx: The return of Xander Cage, starring various people I’ve never heard of along with Vin Diesel who is probably been very happy to be riding high again in films since the resurgence of the Fast and Furious series. It was a freebie basically and given my experience of one other premiere before (Horns with Daniel Radcliffe, the little Harry Horse-Botherer who has done some excellent work since), I figured it would be just as good if not better.
Oh boy, would I be wrong.
Basically after arriving at around 5pm to stand outside in the cold London air, along with someone else who I suspect afterwards would have much preferred staying in bed (And so would I), we were left to our own devices with the organisers from Paramount and the PR companies, not really knowing what they were doing. This of course would only serve to make you annoyed, especially if you are needing toilet facilities after the twelfth mocha you’ve guzzled trying to keep warm.
Add to the fact that the stars were late and only after about 3 hours of waiting, do you get literally about ten seconds walking down the carpet before you’re pushed on to get out of the way of the people who are paid way more than you will ever be, you can imagine that my mood was not exactly the type of jumping up and down with glee.
Why am I writing more about the wait and the meh than the actual film? Because it’s still 89% more interesting than what actually happens in the bloody thing! Continue reading →
Finally after all this time, we come to the sci-fi event of the past month or so, and the second mini meh of 2017: Moulin Rogue One, where with some terrific dancing and songs, really brought the world of Star Wars to life. It was really sad how Nicole Kidman had…. wait…. you’re saying I’m talking about the wrong stuff? You’re saying that Lady Gaga didn’t sing Lady Marmalade while the rebels fought against the empire? You’re saying that this was a tenuous joke at best and really I should just focus on talking about the film Rogue One?
Sigh, fine….. spoilsports…..
So yes, the first true standalone new material in the Star Wars Universe effectively revolves around the opening paragraph of the very first Star Wars Film back in the 70s. In essence what we come to is a very hi-tech heist movie where we have a lot of new faces trying to steal the plans to the big ball of doom which is known as the Death Star.
Cue an opening scene which establishes the main bad guy from the Empire, an angry Project Manager by the name of Orson Krennic (played in true panto fashion by Ben Mendelsohn). He’s after Mads Mikkelsen (playing a high tech engineer fella called Galen Erso), who apparently left the empire behind to have a quiet life and a family.
Orson’s a bit annoyed at this and needs Mads to finish the lovely new shiny weapon thingy. At the cost of killing Mads’ family. The little girl hides and gets rescued by Forest Whitaker and turns into Jyn Erso, a happy go lucky scamp who got imprisoned in a camp by the Empire. She’s rescued to go find her father by the rebels and to talk with Forrest Whitaker about where her old man is. Unknown to her, a rebel chap with an exoitic accent (Diego Luna) has orders to kill Jyn’s father.
So the story comes into its own, with the introduction of various characters like the blind Priest dude (Donnie Yen) and his friend (Jiang Wen) who likes guns. And I suppose we should leave more of the story there as despite knowing the outcome with the very first Star Wars film. trust me, you would know why once you watch it. Continue reading →