Now tonight’s post is a rather unusual one in which I do ponder about one of the most fraught parts of life. Aside, from cleaning the car, deciding what pizza to eat when you have 17,000 varieties to choose from and wondering which hand to use to scratch your sizable arse.
Relationships and why we all lie in them.
Granted that in itself is enough to send people screaming to the hills you see, but the truth is, this time of year, judging by what most people have been saying and doing recently, it appears it’s a tough time for those in love. But why so many at the same time? Is it something to do with the weather? Granted it’s not been brilliant of late but then again this is Britain and therefore this is par the course. We are upset when it’s not raining so hard, you swear Noah’s ark is travelling down the dual carriageway.
I of course could be mistaken, you could be happily moving through life with the man / woman of your dreams and about to do real naughty with them that is illegal in some countries. And there are people out there that are.
But I welcome happy people into this little post simply because at some point, you are going to come to a point where someone gets annoyed about something very small and blame you for it.
The real realisations are when you almost end it. You actually say the words “We should split up.” There is a moment when both of you look into each other’s eyes and something breaks.
It comes to the point where you either part your ways, find a different path, either staying as friends or in most cases, ending up leaving the other alone, perhaps resenting them because they hurt you. The other possibility is you get a true answer as to why things have gone the way they have. Only then do people say what is on their minds, when they are about to lose something they care about or have had enough and want to vent.
You may find out that they haven’t been happy in a long time and that they just haven’t brought themselves to go away from you because you’re the best of a crappy bunch. Or they let you into the mystery of why they act the way they do and sometimes that is even more scary.
But more often than not it appears you are really defined in your early years, and what happens there seems to have a massive effect on you the rest of your life. And as I recall now, a lot of the time our previous experiences shape us and affect us even now, when we are “adults” and are meant to be bigger than that.
There is a lot that can be said about childhoods and how our families and first love bunnies ultimately are responsible for messing us up but that is for another time.
Back to the lying, It’s very strange I find that we all do this. We even hide what we think from our loved ones until it comes to the crunch. In fact a lot of things we hide from the real world simply because it’s not the best thing to do socially. I am just as guilty of this and frankly this blog still even now only skims the rim of the gaping black hold that really is the “Lord of Leisure.” If I were to really write what and who I am, I would lose my friends and my job. (The question of do we really know ourselves is again for another time.)
We all pretend to be other people in front of everyone and then in order to get together with someone, the number one tip people say is “be yourself.” But what the f**k does that mean any more? Does anyone truly know who they are and therefore what they are to other people?
People are funny to be liked.
Being liked is more important than being who you are and that gets extended into relationships, because we act a certain way to be “liked.” Of course, at some points, the cracks in the armour slip and then you get glimpses into what a person is like. But ultimately only when the cards are down instead of the trousers, do people say things.
Relationships are hard to keep going and only when the armour comes off, does it get interesting and dangerous.