Dear visitor of Ooh Sometimes (and the visitors from that show, V)

On 26th May 2012, The EU Cookie law came into force and now websites are required to tell you about what cookies they use and seek consent from visitors to their operation. For more formal information, please visit the ICO web site (https://ico.org.uk/for-organisations/guide-to-pecr/cookies-and-similar-technologies/)

I.C.O....Singing I.C.O...Everyone!

I.C.O….Singing I.C.O…Everyone!

Well for the first part, yes, Ooh Sometimes does use cookies to do all sorts of evil things to you without you knowing about it.

Like rape chickens and run over old people with unicycles.

We also use Google Analytics to track who comes to the site, what content they visit etc, more information if you’re bored, can be found here: https://developers.google.com/analytics/resources/concepts/gaConceptsCookies

We’ve also embeded plenty of YouTube videos which apprently creates cookies and stuff we never even knew about for their operation. More on that stuff can be found here: http://support.google.com/youtube/bin/answer.py?hl=en-GB&answer=171780

You also use a name and an email address when posting comments, something which you clearly never knew about ever, but that’s a privacy thing, not a cookie thing, and it’s housed in a database we have, where we don’t even bother to look at it. To be honest, you actually could use any name and email and the damned thing sends it through anyway.

Given that we receive about 10 visitors a day, and most of it are in fact from spammers who try to add comments to posts about sex pills, this whole thing is probably not a massive problem, but if it is, please tell us if you’re having nightmares about not being able to turn off cookies via your web browser thingy due to mashing too many keys at the same time on the keyboard in a violent rage and we’ll address it by going to Nandos and eating some non-raped chicken.

I suspected I wasn't well for a reason...

I suspected I wasn’t well for a reason…

The wonderful thing here is, the maximum penalty for not complying is £500,000 for cases where there is a deliberate breach of the law that causes substantial distress. We’re really wondering if a crappy blog site will cause substantial distress that warrants the £500,000 fine (which is £499,812 more than what we actually have).

What distress do they mean as well? Do damsels all have to chip about their distress? Is it the kind of distress John Hurt had when that alien popped out of his stomach to say hello?

Tell you what, if you are overcome with painful emotion and you’re vomiting everywhere and that your life has been destroyed by the cookies used by Ooh Sometimes and our lack of caring, please contact the ICO directly via their many channels listed on this page; https://ico.org.uk/concerns/ so they can do whatever it is they do.

Thank you for your time that we’ve just wasted.

The Management.