If you have a bad day, you may end up destroying South Korea. Fact.
Given all the recent big hitters, this film came out of nowhere on the ol’ movie radar and was actually quite hard to find a screening for. What was the marketing plan here? Put it out there and then sneak off in shame? Was this only meant to be shown on Channel 5 in the afternoon when the old people were having a nap in their chairs?
Well given it’s here and perhaps only for another week or so at the cinema before it disappears again, it’s perhaps best we start now describing what the premise of Colossal right now because it’s a head-f**k to explain for sure! Anne Hathaway plays an out of work writer called Gloria, who ends up being thrown out by her partner Tim for doing nothing with her life and drinking all night and stuff. She’s a wee mess you see and drinks too much.
So having gotten all her stuff nicely packed in bags by Tim, she moves back to her hometown where she meets an old school friend, Oscar, played quite well and at times scary by Jason Sudeikis. He offers her a job in his bar and then night after night the drinking continues along with some really weird behaviour at times.
In the mornings, Gloria wanders home through a kid’s playground doing various actions, and it’s at this time the premise just goes f**king crazy. You see, when Gloria wanders through the playground at a certain time of day, there’s a giant Kaiju which appears in South Korea and causes huge damage and terror.
It’s another Bank holiday weekend in the UK, and as such you will find yourself with an extra day to enjoy yourselves or be stuck in endless traffic. Maybe you’ll be hitting the cinema, of course, and given its release today, Baywatch on the face of it, certainly looked like an interesting proposition. A revival of a TV series in film form, where various attractive lifeguards such as David Hasselhoff handle all sorts of situations, though of course exactly how many people were always drowning during those situations varied. They also tended to move slowly quite a bit as we needed to see the pretty ladies’ boobs move slowly up and down as they ran.
It’s not the first one this year as apparently there was a revival of the TV cop show Chips, which went down as well as the titanic did, taking quite a lot of people with it. But will Baywatch with new pretty people be very Baywatchable or will we be left wanting to be drowned so we were out of our slow motion misery? Having watched it at a preview screening in London, I certainly can indeed answer that for you. Continue reading →
OK, hands up everyone who thought that after the WTF moment that was the fourth Film in the long running Pirates of the Caribbean franchise would ever come back? Seriously, even Blackbum the Pirate, played by Ian McShane must have thought it was the end after such a lacklustre sequel that had Penelope Cruz being all woman fightery and no real reason to exist.
But then again, Pirates of the Caribbean would be hard to ignore a revisit. This after all was the series which gave Johnny Depp license to pretend to be drunk all the time while apparently performing feats of wonder and skill. It gave us some outrageous plots, some wonderful effects and fight scenes and introduced a lot of people to Orlando Bloom and Gorgeous Boy-Girl Keira Knightley. Whether or not that was ever intended during the first film or not, who cares?
Because of the success of the first film, we got two more films with the main cast, over which it seemed to just disappear up its own arse during the third film where Will Turner became the captain of the Flying Dutchman and boy-girl Kera become the Pirate King. So imagine the surprise when Disney decided that it was worth continuing on the epic story of Captain Jack Sparrow even after it all went off the rails of the ride it was all based on. Now as cynical as I’m going to sound here, here’s a question to you gentle reader;
What’s the betting though that even without seeing the trailer or the film that you wouldn’t be able to guess what the general plot is? Continue reading →
Before anything else, I have to start this meh with a horrifying declaration; I’m not an Anime fan. I know, fat guy, glasses and a geek, yet doesn’t like Anime. I may as well just go off into the wilderness right now. Maybe passers-by will find themselves able to throw scraps of food at me from time to time….
So when it came to watching Ghost in the Shell, unlike Beauty and the Beast, I had no frame of reference. I never watched the original and therefore it was a lot easier to judge this solely as a film by itself without the baggage that came from the previous mini meh.
It seems that we’re in the future that looks a sh*t ton like Blade Runner at times for this story to unfold and our heroine who’s called Major (played by probably the only reason a lot of people will watch the film; Scarlett Johansson) is a new type of super hero type person who starts off being saved but then turns into a huge badass working for a special police type force. Why and how, well that basically gets revealed during the course of the film so we’ll leave that be for the time being. She also wears a sort of….err…. skin tight suit with which she can go invisible and it’s sort of flesh coloured which means that it can look like at times that she’s naked. OK, starting to see why this was popular now as Anime…. Continue reading →
A real tale as old as time is on the docket for discussion next; A remake of Beauty and the Beast from the lovable, profit making mega-giant Disney again. Aside from just printing money from Marvel movies, It seems that they are really on the ball with redoing their old classics in real life. We’ve had Cinderella and the Jungle Book as two recent examples where things were slightly changed and updated to tell the stories we already know. Cinderella passed me by, while I did see and enjoy the new Jungle book, even if given the tone they were going for that the songs were just way out of place.
Seriously, Christopher Walken singing “I wanna be like you”, was just weird.
So when this remake came along about a girl who eventually falls in love with a monster who learns to be kind and loving again, you would wonder how it would do in comparison to the 1991 Animated version which won a couple of Shiny Shiny things. But back then there wasn’t as much Oscar bait when they released films then now.
I’m going to be honest here, this was bad in comparison to the 1991 film and I would state now, go and watch that instead. Take the money you would have paid at the cinema and just buy the 1991 classic if you’ve not got it already and just enjoy that instead. Continue reading →
Better late than never eh? So what if the game released fully last month and the Open Beta for Warhammer: Dawn of War 3 has been and gone of course. At the time, I had recorded footage to show how good or bad I was and whether or not it was my bag.
Well given how much I worked on it, along with comedy bits, I decided to still release it now, so at the very least it will be good for a laugh! Enjoy!
Yep, In continuing on in actually putting content live on YouTube, We’ve got the final Part of the Bayonetta livestream available now for you to watch and be confused as to how bad I’m actually am at the game!
Enjoy this Gaming Car Crash of a live stream (See what I did there….) and at some point, we have additional content from Yooka-Laylee, Prey and Mass Effect: Yawndromedia due for posting in the future. If there’s a particular game you want me to fail at, then mail me via the cotact form, or email me at youtube (at) oohsometimes (dot) com where I will pretend to pay attention to what you said! BYE!
Hooked on a Marvel, They’re bleeding me dry… SOMEBODY HELLLPPP MEEEEEE!
So have you watched it yet? So have you watched it yet? So have you watched it yet? So have you watched it yet? So have you watched it yet? So have you watched it yet? So have you watched it yet? So have you watched it yet? So have you watched it yet? So have you watched it yet? So have you watched it yet? So have you watched it yet? So have you watched it yet? So have you watched it yet? So have you watched it yet? So have you watched it yet?
Go watch it.
You’re still here? Why? What do you mean you expect to actually hear about the sequel to the most unexpected comic series to surface on the big screen from Marvel Studios? You want to know if the soundtrack was as good if not better? Sigh, alright then, I’ll go through the motions of telling you all about it then. But you promise to see afterwards right? Good. Continue reading →
Yep, it’s British film time folks, be afraid! Well I say that, but for once, it’s not set in some Georgian large house where the ladies are being all frightfully coy about the gentleman who’s come to visit, or set in World War 2 again for the 3470th time. Nope folks, this time, we’re presented with Mindhorn from the warped minds of Julian Barratt and Simon Farnaby. You may remember them both from the weirdness that was the Mighty Boosh from the BBC back in the day.
But here Julian Barratt pays a washed up actor Richard Thorncroft. He used to play a cop in the 80s who had his eye replaced and somehow got implanted with a new magic electronic eye which could tell when people were lying. Think 6 Million Dollar Man, but just on a British budget of £12. We see some adverts played wonderfully to its fully hammy potential and some awful filming with green screening for an episode. Cue some chat show silliness, some insults to all the cast and Thorncroft buggering off to LA before we come to the present day.
Turns out that back on the Isle of Man where the show was filmed, that people are being killed and the killer wants to talk to Mindhorn. Why? Well this chap on the phone (who goes by the name of “The Kestrel”) has a rather unhealthy obsession it seems with the cop. Only issue is that the washed up actor is stuck in Walthamstow in a crap flat where he can’t get any work whatsoever. Continue reading →
Yep, In continuing on in actually putting content live on YouTube, We’ve got Part 2 of Bayonetta available for you to watch and be confused as to how bad I’m actually am at the game! I understand even less this time, chuck the game down to easy and put on Subtitles in Japanese because why not?
Part 3 will be available soon enough of course, but in the meantime, enjoy this Gaming Car Crash of a live stream! (See what I did there….)